To Have and To Hold

Chapitre Dix-Neuf

"Do you know," Jeremiah spoke in a soft voice, and the familiarity of it nearly made my heart explode, "how impossible you are to find?"

We stared at each other, and for the longest moment, I didn't—couldn't—speak. My breathing was shallow, so shallow; my hands were shaking. For a moment, I didn't—couldn't—speak. Jeremiah wasn't wearing his gray suit that he'd tracked through the mud. No, this one was new, sharp and clean, black and pristine. It went all the way down to his wrists this time, not a single tear in sight. His glasses were still the same, with black tops and clear bottoms, his hair was still the same, braids pulled back by a leather strap, and his beautiful light brown eyes were still the same.

"I could say the same thing," I finally got out, feeling unable to breathe clearly. It was like waking up from a dream, one where I'd been walking down this long hallway and never reached the end. But I woke up, and that dream was over, gone. This was the end of the hallway, and things had come full circle.

"I looked online for you, you know," he said, rocking on his heels. His hands holding his camera were shaking, mimicking mine. "Like a weirdo. Asked Derek Sinclair about you, like a weirdo."

My laugh was a short burst, sudden and genuine. "I went to the diner looking for you, like a weirdo," I said, almost hiccupping as I tore in a breath. "I called your boss. Like a stalker."

But Jeremiah didn't think this was weird; his eyes crinkled as he smiled. "You called Mr. Baylor for me? You brave soul."

"I don't know how I survived."

Jeremiah leaned back on his heels and tucked his hands into his pockets. "I never stopped thinking about you, Alice. This entire month, my thoughts have been taken over by a woman I'd met at a wedding. How corny is that? Fortunately for me, it wasn't hers."

"People say you meet your soulmate at work," I got the words out to tease, but they came out shaky. Did I just say soulmate?

"Very true," he smiled, and reached out and grabbed ahold of my hand. "Jasmine called about four days ago. Asked Alex and I to photograph the wedding. We--we started our own photography business, just like I dreamed."

I blinked at him, a lot of things running through my mind at once. "Four days ago? Why so late? And she didn't tell me she called you!" And Alex must have been the handsome and kind man from earlier.

"It was kind of by accident," he responded to my barrage of questions in stride. "Her photographer canceled at the last minute, and she found us online. She didn't know it was me until we met yesterday to go over the game plan."

"I may have been talking about you," I admitted sheepishly.

He squeezed my hand. "Once she realized it was me, she flipped. Wanted to plan on surprising you."

That was why her smile was so sneaky inside. She didn't need some stupid phone charger; she was just wanting to me to go outside and see Jeremiah. Devious.

Jeremiah drew my eyes to him. "I have to show you something."

He didn't have to tell me twice. I locked up Lincoln's car, hearing the beep echo through the night air, and looked up at him expectantly. "Lead the way."

Jeremiah led me to his car a few rows back from the front, a newer silver car with black tires. "It's a little messy," he said, pulling the passenger seat door open. He looked at me. "Hop in."

I raised an eyebrow, but gathered my skirt. "You're taking me somewhere again."

After I gathered my dress into the car, he shut the door, going around to the other side to slide into the driver's seat. His pants rode up as he sat down, and he started the car. "I just figured that it'd be warmer if we sat in here, and it gives us light." He turned on the overhead light with the push of a button.

"Now I'm in suspense," I said, even though I wasn't. I was only feeling a trembling sort of happiness, rippling over my skin like electricity. The memory of our first—only—kiss came back into mind with perfect clarity, beautiful and hungry and gentle.

Jeremiah reached behind the seats and pulled back a blue binder, labeled 2019 Photography. "I chronical my photos by year," he told me, running a finger over the spine while watching me. "And at the end of the year I pick out good ones to go into my portfolio. Since it's nearing the end of December, it's almost finished." He passed it to my waiting fingertips, gently. "I want you to look at it."

I spread open the binder in my lap, bumping it against the edge of the door trying to get it to settle. Jeremiah reached over and wound my fingers through his, and I felt his eyes on me, gauging my expression as I viewed it.

The first photo was of a lone tree. Its branches were winding and willowy, like snakes tangling together in tall grass. Its leaves were completely vacant from the tree, and there was even a small pile of snow dusting the ground at the base. He'd even captured rays of sunlight peeking through the branches, and it created a lens flare. I flipped the page.

The next was of a picture of an elderly couple sitting together at a diner, heads bent over and eyeing their menus. The woman had a whole head of gray hair, the man no hair at all, but the focus of the camera was drawing the looker to their conjoined hands over the tabletop, and wedding ring that shone on the woman's finger. I moved to the next page.

I passed through the pages slowly, soaking up the lights and colors and textures that he'd captured, trying to imagine his face each time he captured the image.

After a few minutes of us sitting in silence, I started the spread from Annabeth's wedding. It was of us girls lining up against the side of the church, but this one had been edited. Jasmine, Annabeth, and I were shining from the rest of the girls, a halo of pure light glowing above each of our heads. I was tipping my head back in a laugh, Jasmine's face pulled into a grin and Annabeth's teeth exposed, mid-speech. The best part about the photo?

Christi's face had been replaced with a rabbit's head. I burst out laughing.

Jeremiah reached over with his other hand and traced the outline of the bunny ears. "I thought you'd like that one."

"I love it," I replied honestly, flipping to the next page.

This one was of me. It was black and white, I was sitting in the tree next to the diner, one of my arms up and gripping the branch. The light had been edited so the viewer could clearly see where I stopped and the tree began, and it was easy to see my dress flowing down toward the ground. My hair had been tangled a bit in one of the limbs, which I didn't remember, but it made the photo that much more beautiful. Jeremiah, this time, flipped the page. "This one is my favorite."

It had been the one from the pier. My eyes had been closed in a blink, but my lips were pressed in a relaxed, joyous smile. I hadn't meant to be smiling, but it was just after our kiss, our amazing kiss, and I couldn't help it. But the photo captured all of me; awkward photo taker, frizzy hair, smudged makeup and all. It wasn't as sexy as the other ones, me posing in the water or in the tree, but it was real. It was me, and this one was his favorite.

My heart took off inside of my chest, running rampant, flat out sprinting to the end of the race. I was looking at him, in the dim light of the cab of his car, seeing how the shadows were trying to swallow his face. His glasses reflected the light and his lips reflected my happiness and I couldn't help but think this is what the start of a happily ever after looks like.

"I could kiss you right now," I told him candidly. "I seriously could."

But I didn't have time to; he'd already been leaning forward and his mouth pressed to mine in a moment's time. I could've sworn, just like last time, I felt my heart ignite with the electricity between us, supercharging it to pound a beat that was wild and calming at the same time.

I reached forward with my free hand and grabbed his camera, holding his heart, and he reached forward and put his hand on the back of my neck, holding me. He broke the kiss after a second, breathing in deep. He gave a little exhale/chuckle combo, and marveled, "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Before all this? Before Annabeth's wedding? I would've said hell, no. In call caps. Not at all, not a chance. How could one fall in love with someone just like that? Just by blinking?

And yet, after meeting Jeremiah?

"Yes," I said, and toward him again, breathing in his breath. "I do."