Sanctuary

Chap 12: not all bad

Jimin stabbed his fork into his dry, over cooked potato. His chin rested on his palm, a foul pout laced his lips. Eyebrows farrowing while his eyes lurked around the room. Everyone looked miserable, drained of life as they sat eating their stale food.

He'd never noticed the depressing mist that hung over everyone-that they all felt the same sense of hatred for this place. He rarely saw anyone smile or laugh like young boys should. This place suffocated him, taking his soul whole in one swift motion.

"You Okay Jimin?" His wondering gaze snaps to Tae who sat opposite him, mouth stuffed full of food.

"Yeah. Just sick of this place, what good is it doing for us? All they do here is tell us how disgusting we are and how god will condemn us for liking boys. It's all stupid and pathetic. Sometimes I wonder if it's just better to run away, be free from all their judging and crucifying." Jimin's teeth tug at his bottom lip, staring down at his uneaten food.

"Amen to that-I'd run away. Maybe go to Europe, heard they're all gay or at least experimental there." Tae nods his head at that, howling down another mouth full.

Jimin laughs at that, of course he'd want to go there was what Jimin thought. The reputation Europe had sure to perceive them.

"I mean this place isn't all bad." Jungkook spoke up, making Jimin almost choke while he stared wide eyed at him.

"Excuse me? Are you fucking kidding?" Jimin had his eyebrow raised, Jungkook was quick to fix his mistake.

"Wait! What I meant is that I got to meet you guys. If I wasn't sent here I'd never found you, I'd still be back there alone and loveless." Jungkook subtly creeped his hand to Jimin's under the table, squeezing gently in a soft grip.

Jimin retracts his scolding expression, morphing it into one of fondness. Jungkook always had the tendency to turn into a sap, like soft mash when it came to him.

"I suppose that's true, but other than that this place is a shit hole." Jimin chimes in, squeezing Jungkook's hand back.

They all nod in agreement, Yoongi adding a sly remark on the fact they couldn't even take a shit without being drowned in the strong image of a cross hanging in front of the toilet seat. Namjoon didn't speak much, seemingly lost in a dream which no one could see. It was like he was hypnotised in some sort of alluring fantasy. His eyes were locked onto something in the backyard-or someone to be more accurate.

His eyes lingered on them, admiring how they stood so strongly-proudly in those slim fitting trousers and tight fitted shirt. Namjoon didn't have many crushes, his love life was short but sweet. But he knew when he had one, and he had one hard. It felt stupid to him though, he knew it would never happen nor was he sure he wanted it to. Yet it didn't stop him dreaming about it, waking up at night hot and sweaty lost in consuming desperation for them to be really there. For the fantasy to be real and alive.

He wished life could be different, that the world wasn't lost in this believe what or who they were was wrong or unnatural. To him he didn't see the issue or understood the hatred towards people like himself. They all wanted the same thing. Someone to love, someone to spend the rest of their life with. What was so wrong with that? That he did not know or ever thought he would.

Jimin watched him curiously, following his loved out gaze. He cranes his neck, face contorting to one of disgust and confusion.

Why was Namjoon looking at him? He couldn't seriously have a crush on that monster?

These thoughts circled his mind, at a lost to why Namjoon would even consider liking someone like him.

Jimin shook his head, deciding not to get involved with Namjoon's love life as he had no right to judge or say anything. Some of the people he'd been with were questionable and yet it never stopped him.