What's the problem?
Everything.
No matter what, I'm discontent with my life. There's so many words out there, yet I can't string any together to express my thoughts or feelings.
Problem #1: grades. Let me describe myself. I'm a fourteen year old sophomore (in high school, obviously). I'm in 2 honors classes, and 4 APs. I have a C in my honors math class, and a C in one of my AP classes. Shoutout to AP Euro, you suck more dick than any gay stripper I will ever know. I shouldn't be worried, I shouldn't be stressed, yet I am. Every day, I get more and more work. Every day, I fall more and more behind. Every day, I feel worse and worse about my own intelligence. School is not supposed to be like this. School is about learning, gaining knowledge, not trying to cram as much information in as little time possible, and testing us on this. No, things aren't supposed to work this way.
Problem #2: mental health. Technically, there is nothing wrong with me, I'm just more overwhelmed and stressed than a normal teenager. I know online tests are inaccurate, but if they were- according to many many many tests (mainly the ones popularized from tumblr), I'd have depression. I understand this is really bad, but I've also used to self harm. No one understands. It's not because I can't handle things, it IS my way of handling things. Having a more physical outlet on everything you're feeling helps. People tell you to find a different way of handling things- they're not necessarily right. Until you've felt a need to resort to this, you do not understand. I am an artist (AP Studio Art for the win), and I run. Neither of these provides a release for me. They just make me feel worse and more stressed. I'm losing interest in everything I used to love. Writing used to consume me for hours, the same for art and running. Now I just want to sleep forever and ever. I don't even know. I feel like I really need to see a counselor. The thing is, I have a horrible relationship with my family in general. If I tried telling my mom, she wouldn't even believe me, she would just laugh it off or think I'm being overdramatic.
Problem #3: family. If you know me, and none of you do, then you would understand that I am not exaggerating or overstating anything when I say that my family is purely made up of a lot of bitches. Enough said.
Problem #4: intelligence. I constantly feel like I'm not good enough. I'm the dumbest person I know in all my classes more or less. I take longer than everyone to do everything. There's so much I would like to accomplish, but so little I can do with what I have (iq wise). I hate everything.
