Sinner (Discontinued)

Author's Note (Sorry In Advance)

Man. It's never good when one of these pop up in the middle of a book, is it? That is sadly the case here too, so let's get on with it.

By now some of you may have realized that this book has been paused for quite a while, and to all my old readers and followers, they know that this book has once been up before and since been rewritten to the book you're reading now. My reasons for doing that was mainly because of bad plotting or poorly developed characters (a case of stupidity and cringe, really), but mostly it was because I couldn't see a way forward with the book. Ergo I took it down and decided to rewrite it.

And here we are; A few months into the new book, and right around the same chapter as I took the book down last time, I find myself stumped once again with a book I find no passion or really any substantial plot to continue. It's been a struggle of mine for so long, hence the reason why I paused it again, to hopefully find a plot worth reading and not just about Cara and Sin humping each other's brains out, but I just couldn't.

I confess when I started to write the book the first time around, that was the largest narrative of the book. It wasn't really much else than a book of fucking, but as I developed, so did my writing and I took it down. Now I have two (fairly) better characters, but a plot that's largely lacking content.

WARNING; I'm about to spoil some things in the future of this book (should I some day choose to continue it), so if you don't want to read that, skip ahead.

So this time around I wanted the main focus of the story to be about the conflict between good or bad and deeming what's right and wrong when stunted by a few moral and sometimes social standards. It was about finding that golden line between good and bad, and about not feeling guilting for being born with the needs and urges we were born with. (Sexual deviant acceptance, basically)

But as I started to progress in the story, I realized my plot would only hold up until a certain point where Cara eventually gives in and sleeps with Sin—followed by a period of adjusting and fitting this new side of hers into her catholic living. There was going to be some fun family scenes with Sin showing up at her house and being his naughty self under the dinner table with Cara, a few scenes with Cara's brother where we see how he's done after breaking away from the nest, and then a few more with Alistair and what life has been like for him out of the closet, but when it all came down to it... I just couldn't see a genuine plot line for Cara and Sin themselves.

Were they going to end up together? And if so, how would it work with him being a Sinner?

My biggest problem, however, was the dynamic relationship between Sin and Cara that I just never could get right. I wanted Sin to be this mysterious character, but I have this rule of thumb that I use to keep myself from creating characters that seem too unreal to work with, and it's going to sound ridiculously, but I swear it's true. You can test it yourself in a moment.

- I call it the 'Diarrhea Rule.'

When I write a book, no matter how smart, how powerful, how rich or how sarcastic or evil my characters are, they still need to be or sound human, and in this case, human enough for me to picture them sitting on the toilet and shitting their ass to pieces. With all of my other characters from my other books, I can picture each and every single one of them catching a case of the runs... all except Sin.

So, he's obviously not human, but that doesn't change the fact that I can't work with a character that's not able to catch a stomach flu. The principle matters, otherwise he or she becomes too impossible to work with, because if they can't shit, then what other magnificent things can't they do? Catch my drift? (Or do I sound crazy, lmao?)

So it was the dynamic of the relationship between Cara and Sin that kept throwing me off every time I clicked on the book and tried to write more. I tried to humanize him, but every time I did, it stripped away what made him Sin.

So, after all this, what is it really I'm saying?

Well, ultimately... that I don't know how to continue this book. The first reason being the one I just mentioned above, but another one also being that I feel that my own personality has changed so much that I can't connect with this book anymore. It's not a book I'm passionate about anymore, and that's not fair to you. If I kept writing on this, it wouldn't make me happy and the result would be below what you deserve.

So, what does this mean for Sinner? Will the book be taken down or will it stay up? Will I ever try to rewrite it?

To the first question, I was thinking of leaving it up, but marking it as Discontinued. Just for the readers who still enjoyed what I wrote in the start and don't want to see it taken down.

As for the second question... I honestly don't know. Right now I would say no, but you never know in the future. What I do know, though, is that I've got more than twenty—yes, twenty—other drafts for books waiting to be written. My attention will be better directed towards them where I actually have characters that can shit for miles on end. Hopefully they'll be much better than this one and wash away the defeat I feel of failing to complete this book again.

So this is how it stands. I apologize to anyone who's been waiting for an update, and to be honest, there is one complete chapter that I haven't uploaded, and the reason for that is firstly because it sucks, but also because it ends on the ultimate cliffhanger. And since I won't be continuing this story as of after this post goes up, it didn't seem fair to upload the chapter and leave you all hanging for all eternity.

So, yeah. Again, I'm very sorry to announce this, but I can honestly say it's for the best. I won't have to feel guilty for it not being continued, and you won't be waiting hopefully for the next update. I really hope you understand.

That's it.

Cheers, guys. Sorry.