Dripping Away

Chapter 15: Breathe

        I left that morning with clothes that actually fit me for once. Of course, Ikalanig practically raised me, so he had that stuff on hold at all times. He also suggested that I wear a Six get-up, but I refused to let my friends see me in that without some sort of explanation. Ikalanig hugged me tightly before letting me go, and I ran out into the rain where the foggy air consumed me in its cold embrace.
     I knew how to get to them. It would be just like the sewers where the electricity would guide me to them, and all I had to do was touch a wall. My hand grazed a wall, and yellow lit up in my vision until it was all pointing in the same direction. I followed. My feet soaked in the rain as I walked, rendering me cold and ragged.
     Do you actually believe Ikalanig?
     Giants. Lekereianale, precisely, in my ear telling me what I should be thinking. No. I continued to follow my own path, and I ignored her calls to me. Did it matter if I believed him completely? Rather, I knew the truth of him, and I knew this is what he believed would work. I believed in Ranll, too, so this wasn't completely far-fetched.
     Fine. But you'll regret this.
     "At least I don't die this way."
     It was bitter, and my voice was echoing again. Following the lightning in the walls, I kept thinking about the possibility of never knowing about dying in the end. Would I have killed everyone else and then myself without hesitating? No. My life may have hit rock bottom, but I could never bring myself to do that without some kind of... ultimatum. Like, I needed more than stopping the rain to get me to end my life. I wasn't the type of person that would do this for the greater good.
     "There you are."
     Nashirme came from an alley path along with the others, all of them full of relieved smiles as I looked unscathed. Abers grabbed me in a hug, and I returned it. As he pulled away, I felt my arm twitching.
     "Did he let you go?" Weshin asked. "You seem fine."
     "About tha-"
     My hand suddenly snapped around my mouth, and my other hand called to the sky to summon lightning. It landed in the my hand like a sword, and the four of them stepped back.  What...
     "If you won't finish the job," I spat. "Then I'll kill them myself." I resisted. "Knock me out!"
     Weshin and Westik grabbed my arms, only to be shocked. They let go, and I began to rush Abers. I couldn't control myself.
     "You're not supposed to believe Ikalanig. You're supposed to believe me! You're supposed to do what I- No!" I screamed. I stopped my feet on the pavement. "Abers, hit me as hard as you can! We have to- Ah. You bitch, don't- Go to Ika!"
     Nashirme came up from behind and sealed my breath with water. I began to choke and to lose consciousness, but I knew this was best. I couldn't control myself.
    "Shit."
     That was all I heard before blacking out.

     When I woke, I was in a tube. Again. I would never understand why the Six thought this would hold me back, but in all honesty I needed it this time.
     "What?" I spoke out to myself. "You're my puppet."
     Oh. Right.
     "Shut up," I answered. "I'm not going to kill them if I don't have to."
     "This is why you're useless. You can't even finish a single task assigned to you. It's like... Why do I even try to save the Giants if my only vessels won't die for me?"
     "Dude, I value my life, thank you."
     "Says the one who willingly puts himself in danger at every possible turn." I crossed my arms. "Name's Vebertekathet, by the way. Two-eyed."
     I lowered my head. "Is this... going to happen to them, too?"
     "Nah. Well, it should happen, but your dad over there is pretty smart. He's probably already eradicated my siblings by now, so they're golden!" I felt my eyes roll at his expense. "So basically, this is it. You are it. Man, Lekereianale's probably pissed at you right now."
     "I'm sure, but her of all people should know that I don't follow my own advice. I will literally  go against my own judgement."
     "Well, this isn't going to change. Lostin, do you really believe that Ikalanig's way will work?"
     "Maybe not. Maybe I don't believe in anything but myself, and that part of me is willing to go against everyone's rules."
     The tube cracked open, and I noticed Ikalanig standing there with bodyguards in front of him. Abers was there wearing Six clothes, which actually seemed to fit him despite how uncomfortable he looked. It was just him, though.
     "Okay," Ikalanig sighed. "Lostin, we're going to extract the Giant from you using this tube. Basically, you're going to be put under until we can extract that consciousness from your head. You might-"
     "See the Giants..." I grumbled. "Could they... kill me?"
     "They could keep you hostage in your own head, so I suppose that equates to death."
     "See?" Vebertekathet chuckled through my tongue. "No path is safe. You should've just done what Lekereianale said."
     I sighed. "Just do it. Won't be the first time my life's been on the line."
     "Abers is going to stay by your side to make sure you don't blow up the place in your sleep," Ikalanig smiled. "Shut the tube."
     I shut my eyes tightly, and I heard the sound of beeping. All I had to do was focus. Focus on myself. On the end. We were going to save this city, and we were going to do it our way. That's all I had to look forward to. An answer.
     "Hey," I heard Abers say slowly. "You don't have to say that you can hear me, but I just want to talk before you went under." A pause. "I didn't know... that it was us. If I did, maybe I would have confronted Ikalanig myself. Maybe it would have changed things from us running away from everyone, the sewers, the Church. We could have avoided all of those stupid things if I had just asked. I could have-"
    I opened my eyes and pressed my hands to the glass. "Stop blaming yourself." 
    Then, a shock. I felt it throughout my whole body, a strike of lightning that bounced around in the tube before it hit my heart. As I fell into darkness, I noticed that being... dead didn't feel like all of the other times. The darkness was forced upon me, my thoughts infiltrating my being like it was a daydream rather. But I couldn't feel around. I couldn't even feel myself here or see myself. It was... a thought room.
     "You're bold to return to a place that doesn't welcome you."
     Lekereianale.
     Why couldn't I see her? I felt a weight pressed against me, but the object wasn't there. I began to choke as I couldn't breathe, but I couldn't stop myself. Where was the way? Why couldn't I see?
     "If you die here," Lekereianale growled. "Then you'll never wake."
     No. I slammed my hands onto the ground I could not see, and the whole room lit up like a spark. A dark monster started to electrify. It landed limp on top of me, and I pushed it away as I gathered my surroundings.
    ​​​​​​​ God dammit.