Feelings so strong

Explosion of depression

In my feelings lots going throu this mind of mine.
Idk where to start,
the pain,
the depression,
the anger,
the anxiety,
It's taken me over
No where to turn to.
People say there here but come that time they speed away.
Like a lightning bolt here one second gone the next.
Tell me my problem are irrelevant.
They don't feel that way as I'm feeling them.
Can't wear a fake smile anymore,
I'm to far gone there's no saving me.
I'm a hopeless cause
People keep leaving,
I feel as I have no one.
I'm drowning,
And no ones here to save me.
I look,
And I don't see anyone not even a stranger it's like I'm standing in outter space.
I scream but no one hears me.
I gotta stay strong,
it's not just me anymore
He depends on me.
I keep failing him.
His daddy want nothing to do with him
I'm all he's got,
I hate seeing him seeing me like this.
I know he can feel my pain,
see my tear rolling down my face.
He hears the arguments,
the name calling.
I ask god why he's doing this to me,
But it's just like everybody else no answers left stranded.
Alone no where to turn to.
No one to help I feel as I wanna go to sleep, And never wake up.
It would be better that way!
No one to hurt,
No one to fail,
If I ain't here the only person who would suffer from me not being here is my son,
But he's young enough to grow up,
And not remember me
I never want him to feel as if he's not wanted or love
But he would be better off without a emotional mess always around,
He won't have the emotional toll of seeing me like this he would be happy!
Ik what it's like to watch a parent go through mental health issues.
It has a toll on u as a child,
You feel as if there problems are ur fault n it sucks.