Consequences Unforeseen

Moscow - May 1991

The Skies over Moscow - May 1991

The “g” forces pulled him hard into his seat and instantly awake. The big plane was banking very hard left in a swiftly descending and ear popping turn. The last time he’d felt anything like it, he’d been the pilot and in a much smaller nimbler F4 Phantom.

The fact that this was an Airbus 310 of the Aeroflot carrier and he was only landing at Moscow’s Sheremetyevo airport made him laugh. “These fucking Russian Air Force pilots should never be allowed a commercial license!”

The guy next to him remained deeply asleep and the open bottle of vodka he’d been imbibing was now lying half empty in his lap. His trousers and the seat beneath were obviously soaked through.

The Airbus continued to plummet towards the runway and seemingly only at the very last minute pulled up – creating even more substantial forces on his backside before “crashing” hard down on to the cold concrete of the Moscow midnight. The pilot’s immediate application of full reverse thrust had him pushing hard against the bulkhead in front and did absolutely no good to his travelling companion who thumped head first into the self same bulkhead.

Bill Douglas stifled a laugh and thought “I can’t wait to get off this fucking thing!” …

Earlier when boarding, Tokyo seemed instantly like a million miles away. Another life and another dimension!. The polite, relatively easy going atmosphere of the NaritaAirport instantly absorbed and negated upon entrance to the Russian owned plane.

He felt it like a physical presence. It was another world. The other passengers ignored the check in allocated seats and were basically fighting and arguing to sit either wherever they wanted or to get to sit beside whoever they wanted, and be damned if you got in the way,

The aircraft was clean though on first inspection, and that was a bonus compared to some previous experiences on Aeroflot journeys he’d made. He didn’t even mind the slight odor of chlorine and disinfectant which indicated that at least some attention had been made to hygiene

The crew seemed lively enough though, a mixture of previous female Moscow divotchkas and equally effeminate male pidoras. It never failed to amaze him how Russian cabin crew consistently gave off the aura of people about to embark on a party rather than an airline flight. They all pivoted around the aisles swaying their hips or emphasizing their breasts at every opportunity.

As he parked himself down in his aisle bulkhead seat, one of the female crew plumped herself down beside him, reached into her enormous purse and produced a full bottle of vodka and a glass, both of which she handed to him with a smile and the brief words – “For the flight and your enjoyment.” A light and delicate rub of his inner thigh then followed and a whispered “you can pay me later” as she pushed herself up and went back to whatever else she considered her pre flight duties to be.

The continued wrestling and arguments over seats did not seem to be abating either, so he decided to take a walk back to the cabin door and take some non chlorinated air!  He left his leather jacket on the seat with a scribbled note on top. Seemingly it had just one word – otva’li. Politely translated – “get out” but more crudely interpreted as ‘fuck off”  He didn’t care which way they took it so long as his seat was still there when he got back!

Luck was with him and he returned to a vacant seat and a laughing Russian guy sitting in the inside seat. He was drinking a generous pour of the previously gifted vodka, and as Bill sat down he raised the glass and said “Welcome to Moscow!”

“We’re nowhere near Moscow yet” replied Bill, “and please enjoy my vodka.”

The stranger just smiled back with a casual “Well if you drink enough of this stuff, Moscow is but minutes away!” With that he chugged back the entire glass and proceeded to take yet another full pour. Four more of the same, saw him passed out and asleep before takeoff.

The plane pushed back and the taxi process began taking them out beyond the blinking lights of the terminal and into the dark Narita night. Bill had fastened himself in but looking around he saw that precious few other had bothered, including the now unconscious passenger beside him.

The A310 rolled along with the bump, bump, bump of the concrete slabs muffled well by the modern equipment, and with a brief instruction for the crew to sit down and nothing more the pilot initiated full throttle and the jet responded immediately by hurtling towards take off speed and into the air. The gift giver stewardess in the meantime had come forward and promptly sat down on the carpeted isle alongside Bill Douglas’ seat. Empty glass in her hand no less.

Once the aircraft had leveled out she raised herself to her knees and held her glass out to be filled.

Douglas looked at her with total amazement and disbelief, but she nudged him and winked and said “Go on just take it back from that alkash there and daváy otorvëmsja. Goní bábki notom.”

He was gob smacked but not “surprised” by this behavior and it tickled him to think that his Russian language abilities were being tested at this early stage in his undertaking.

This stewardess had basically said to him, “c’mon take the bottle off that drunken idiot and lets paint this plane red. Give me the money later!”

Never one to be rude or discourteous, he smiled and poured her a drink, saying, “Please don’t take this personally, but I need to get some sleep, and I don’t drink I’m afraid. Here though have some yourself and tell me where we can meet when we get off this damn airplane?” His car was to meet him at the airport, but some additional distracting cover was never a bad thing and this had fallen literally into his lap. He knew Moscow, like he knew his hometown, Glasgow, but a Muscovite would add much validity to his initial settling into the city. He would be here for a week and he needed a place to stay. He also ‘knew’ that it was no coincidence that this female had latched onto him. The first night in Moscow would be interesting ….

To be continued – please folks vote and comment if you like the story so far – if you are intrigued and want to read more. Please let me know J