Breaking Emily

Measure 20

~ Measure 20 ~

   Time went slowly without Holly.  I went through each day feeling like I couldn’t breathe.

   I felt like I didn’t even need to…

   It was up to me to search through her things.  Her parents and I briefly conversed about the funeral matters, and they told me that they would show up, but they didn’t want anything to do with her child. 

   That meant that Genesis would be placed in an orphanage if she survived. 

   I covered up everything in the nursery with white sheets and took down the quotes from the wall a week after Holly passed away.  I picked up cardboard boxes at the store and brought them home to go through her things. 

   Holly didn’t have much, but everything she did have meant a great deal to her.  She had a hand sewn quilt at the end of her bed made by her grandmother who loved her very much.  Most of her clothes went into boxes to go to donation bins around town. 

   She had pictures in frames of her friends from different periods in her life.  Some from her childhood, and some of now.  Several of them were taken recently when we would go to different places around town like parks and museums to try and take our mind off of all of the things going wrong. 

   I got a call from the doctor that day.  Holly’s death should’ve been predicted from the start, because after several tests, it was found that she was dying of breast cancer from the start. 

   I had trouble holding in all of my feelings after that.  I screamed at the top of my lungs with tears streaming down my face for everything that she had planned for her and her baby.  I knew that all I had left was pictures of her and that I’d have to go through every day seeing her smiling and laughing in the photos just like I used to in reality.  Even in those short months that we tried to take on the world together, Holly had become my most cherished friend. 

   The pain was eating me alive. 

   But I had to hold it together to finish this.  I walked back to her room with my head hanging and tears dripping onto the floor.  I opened up her closet and reached up to the top shelf.  I gasped.

   I was holding a neatly wrapped box with a tag that read, Emily. 

   I knew immediately that it was an early birthday present.  I gently tore the card off of the side and opened the envelope.  Inside wasn’t a card, but a neatly written letter. 

   Dear Emily,

      Happy Birthday!  I can’t believe that you’re already 17 and you’ll be graduating this year!   Sometimes I wish I was back in school so that I could be with you see you and Dylan and all your other friends get older and make mistakes and hilariously screw up…  I’m just kidding.