Life of a Mean Girl ✓

35 | i will always love you

❝Bittersweet memories, that's all I'm taking with me. So goodbye, please don't cry. We both know I'm not what you need.❞

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Disclaimer: This chapter contains explicit content.

JESSAMINE

I always thought I had no purpose in life, that I was meaningless, that the only reason I was born was to just be there, like a speck of dust. Every little thing has a purpose, something mind-blowing but me? I never did. I had these thoughts before Jackson's death but after it, these feelings of purposelessness disappeared, giving way to a new idea.

I had discovered my reason for existing; to cause destruction, but not just to others. The biggest destruction I had caused to someone was none other than me. I had also discovered my biggest enemy -- me.

***

"Are you sure you guys want to go to sleep? We can play more monopoly." I try to convince my almost unconscious friends. Mavis ignores me and walks to a spare bedroom. Audrey lets out a big yawn so I relent. "Okay fine, you can go." She gives me a thankful smile and drags her boyfriend after her to another guest room. Leaning back on Alexander, I let out a huff of annoyance. "I can't believe it, it's my last night and they want to sleep."

Alexander kisses the back of my head before letting out a soft laugh. "It's 4:00 am, they're tired," he says, trying to make me see reason. Pouting like a child, I cross my arms over my chest.

Tilting my head, I get a closer look at Alexander, whose mouth is pulled back into a teasing smile. "What?"

"You're so adorable."

His carelessly thrown compliments  set off a blanket of red on my cheeks, I'll miss them. God, I'll miss everything about him. Especially, the uneventful moments such as right now where I'm just laying on him, acting like a child. "I know," I state.

He chuckles and stands up, offering his hand for me to take. I grab it and we stroll to my bedroom, to settle in for the night. Alexander flops down on my bed and I raise my eyebrows. "You're not going to be uncomfortable sleeping there, right?" He bobs his head and cuddles with the pillow. Automatically, I take off my shirt, not paying mind to the fact that there's a boy in my bed; a boy who most likely will  have a stroke seeing me half-naked.

A gasp from Alexander draws my attention to him. He immediately closes his eyes and yet again, I roll my eyes at his innocence. Feeling evil, I smirk, deciding to play a prank on him. So, I take off my jeans, too. "You can open your eyes, I'm clothed now."

"Are you sure?"

"100 percent."

He still doesn't open his eyes instead, he shields them with his hands. Sometimes, I think he's a child stuck in a man's body. "I don't believe you." Rightly so.

I stride to the bed and lean over him. "Come on, I'm not lying."

Tentatively, he uncovers his eyes which widen upon seeing me. "You're such a liar." I chuckle at his innocence, knowing in my heart that he'll cover them back up so I try to move away but his hand latches onto my wrist, preventing me from moving. Tilting my head to look at him, I see him meeting my gaze, with his ever-present blush. He starts to close the distance between us, his eyes flicking to my lips. "I love you," he whispers close to my mouth.

Three simple words enough to cause tremors down my body. Enough to turn my whole upside down. Enough to brighten my day. Even though a nagging voice tells me that he's lying, I let myself believe the lie -- because he loves me. Even after all the shit I've put him through, he still loves me.