Jealousy AU - GerPol , RusGer & RusAme (Countryhumans)

Chapter 2- ✿ Pleasant Conversion ✿

Song used: I will never (be your friend)
By: Irish stew of Sindidun
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0:46 Listen to that part of the song, That song Inspired this chapter OwO
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Enjoy! ^^
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Russia's POV

First day at school was miserable, I felt terribly lonely. My mouth was zipped, the whole day I didn't speak nor eat, what I did was think, think, and talk to myself. Which is absolutely fine because I hate talking to people anyway.

My mind was circulating all my thoughts to America, My dad, Ukraine, Belarus, and those people who are jerks to me.

I was overwhelmed, a pensive mood just came through my body, as If it's punching my mind to think about them.

Unfortunately, when I arrived home, Ukraine or Belarus wasn't home yet. As I felt bad to worse thinking about those people expectation of me, the one who judge me.

Recently, I've been drinking alcohol when I felt sorrow all over my body, physically and emotionally.

Convinced I was, to drink vodka alone to forget all those sick thoughts, attempting myself to obtain drunken mind, thoughts, and body. Alone by myself and I was satisfied by that.

At first, I thought to myself It was just my hobby but it turns out to be an addiction.

Alcohol was the only one who made me felt exhilarated, satisfied, delighted, gratified, and contented in life. It was a drug, that makes me feel those emotions, that I don't exactly felt in life.

After our father had died when I was in my early age I never felt joy in my heart ever, I didn't feel like worth living anymore that's when I started cutting myself.

My two younger sisters, Ukraine and Belarus always perturbed, notified, and worried. Telling me to stop, but I never did.

I appreciate there love and concern for me but I still didn't felt anything, what I felt was pity.

I began to feel Distress, Pity, and Ashamed for my sisters, convinced me to look on the bright side.

So after thinking about those sick thoughts, It reminds me of America.

Who I thought that would change everything,
who I thought that would make me feel happy again,
who I thought that would make me feel special,
who I thought that would love me...

I'd been mistaken about his intentions. How wrong I was, since the begining, I thought he was my everything but again I was wrong. It was painful, It felt as If my skin was opened which to stow all the bleach inside.

My whole body were sore and my head ached. What I felt was worse, extreme, and intense.

Back then...

When we started dating he was the only person who made me feel better, he change my life, a key for me to have a fresh start, he was my everything.