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* p r e s e n t *
The next week, Harlow flew out to meet the tour with Corey and a few of the other guys. Somehow, she managed not to see Jim at all for the first couple of days and when she finally did, they didn't speak and just sort of awkwardly stepped around each other and went on with their days.
Once Mick forgave her for leaving, she spent most of her time with him, sometimes actually physically hiding behind him to avoid being seen. It was a weird juxtaposition to how she normally was on tour. Normally, she was outgoing and loud, talking with everyone and doing everything she could to make sure everyone was comfortable and had everything they needed. Now, though, she mostly kept to herself. Multiple times Mick commented begrudgingly that he almost missed the old her, despite how annoying she'd been.
She was glad to be back on tour, back with the people she considered family, but everything still just felt wrong somehow. She hated avoiding Jim, hated being so nervous about seeing him. It wasn't how it was supposed to be. Jim wasn't someone she was supposed to be nervous about seeing. Jim was the one that she was supposed to feel the most at home with. It was wrong. It was all wrong.
•••••
Once Harlow finally settled into somewhat of a routine, the final three months of the tour flew by just like they always did. There was another tour in a month, and she wasn't sure how that one was going to go, but she still counted it as a win that she'd made it through this one.
She went home to her apartment, despite Corey's protests. He kept joking that the place probably had asbestos or something and insisting she stay with him. She didn't want to, though. She insisted that if this was how her life was going to be, she needed to force it into some sort of rhythm and routine.
All that went right down the drain when Jim knocked on her door late one night. She stared at him through the peephole, sure she was hallucinating and it wasn't actually him.
"Harlow? I heard you walk up to the door through these paper thin walls you've got. I know you're there," he said a few moments later, and she swallowed hard and unlocked the door to let him in.
Deja vu washed over her just like it had the night on the bus at the beginning of the tour. Only this time, the memories weren't fond. This time, the memories came from one of the worst days of her life. She even looked up at him to make sure he wasn't upset like he had been that morning. She took a deep breath when she saw that he wasn't.
"Corey gave me your address. I hope it's okay that I came," he told her, nervousness thick in his tone. She nodded.
Six months. It had been almost six whole months since she'd seen him up close, since she'd really let herself look at him, since she'd spoken to him. They'd never gone that long without speaking, ever, and it felt weird having him standing in front of her now. She didn't know what to do with her hands. She desperately wanted to reach for him, to at the very least wrap him in a hug, but she wasn't sure he'd want that. For all she knew, he could've gotten over her. For all she knew, he could be dating someone else.
