Miraculous OneShots

Heartbreaker

A/N: VERY LONG ONESHOT. It is around 4,600 words. There are some mentions of non-innocent things but mainly PG... 13. You will probably laugh your ass off hopefully and feel a lot of emotions. Enjoy!

"Bye, Nino! Bye, Alya, Marienette!" Adrien said as he got into his car to leave school. Once he got home, his father wanted to talk to him. "Yes, Father?"

"Hello, Adrien. How was school?"

"A general, learning school day I guess?"

"Hmm." Gabriel Agreste thought for a moment. "Adrien, you should get a girlfriend, only for your status. I already arranged a date for you with Lila Rossi." He stated, out of the blue.

"Wait, her? Lila Rossi? No, I can't!" Adrien tried to negotiate with his father. "I can't date her! She lies about everything!"

"No, if's or but's. That's final, Adrien."  Mr. Agreste said. "Now, go to work on your homework. If you don't have any, practice your piano or your Chinese."

"Of course, Father,"  Adrien said as he walked out of the office. He trod up the steps to his bedroom and stayed until the next Akuma.  Are you serious? 

"Are you kitten me? Volpina again?" Chat Noir said to Ladybug.

"Yep, kitty. This is like what, the 5th time this month? Does Hawkmoth not know anyone else to akumatize?" She rolled her eyes out of annoyance. "This is getting out of hand."

"What should we do? Just Lucky Charm out way out?"

"Hmm... not now. I'm actually in the mood for a hard win."

"A hard win, huh?" Chat smirked.

Ladybug looked at him with a glare. "Chat Noir, enough. Before I slap you across your face."

"You sure the face? Not somewhere else?" Chat's grin grew.

"Be cocky after we deal with Lila okay, Chat?"

"Fine." He rolled his eyes while he pouted.

"You know Kitty, being cocky isn't gonna get you anywhere in life. Or at least in someone's pants." Ladybug looked over her shoulder, smiled innocently, and winked. Chat Noir was speechless for the rest of the fight. Did... Ladybug just... wink at me?

The next day was Saturday, the day of the date. Adrien groaned at the thought of having to date Lila. After all, he's in love with Ladybug. The thought of Ladybug made him feel better. Maybe I could pretend the Lila is Ladybug? Wait no, that's a horrible idea. Adrien mentally puked in his mouth.

"Adrien, are you ready for your coffee date with Ms. Rossi?" Nathalie asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be." Adrien sighed with a fake smile.

"Okay, here's the plan. First, you'll stop at the Boulangerie, the Dupin-Chengs Bakery to get something for the park, where you'll go next. After that, you'll take a long walk near the river to enjoy the Paris lights." Nathalie explained.

"Okay. Let's get this over with." Adrien wasn't afraid to show his disliking in front of her and his father.

Adrien got in the car and Gorrila drove to Lila's apartment to drop him off. Adrien walked to Lila's door and knocked. They both greeted each other and started to walk to the bakery close by.

"Oh, h-hey Adrien!" Marienette blushed behind the counter. "Hi, Lila." She faked a smile. In her mind, she was hitting Lila with a meat pounder on the side of her head.

"Hello, Marienette! Adrien and I would like a box of your famous chocolate croissants, for our date." Lila kissed Adrien on the cheek.

"O-oh. You two are on a date? Well, the chocolate croissants are on the house then. A box of 12, I presume, Adrien?" Marienette's voice choked as she clenched one of her fists as the other one pounded the buttons on the cash register softly as she could.