It was either Thursday or Wednesday when this weird class switch went on. The teachers were swapping students from their classrooms. I had no idea what it was at the moment but now that I think about it was probably because my teacher had a large number of students or whatever. I was fortunate enough to get switched out. My friend Jonny wasn't though. I knew he would be okay by himself though. He was Jonny, the most hilarious person I knew.
I was switched over to my old English teacher. I didn't like her either but compared to "Ms. Nerdy face" she was a relatively nicer teacher in comparison. I guess it was just because I knew her better and she knew me better. She actually kind of liked me, as a student and stuff. The best part of it was that I got to be with my other friend Jacob. Although Jonny was like my Mexican Amigo me and Jacob got along better and talked about touchier stuff ranging from why the sky wasn't green to politics. Stuff like that. There were some things that only the two of us would understand.
I sat next to Jacob when I first came to classroom. The classroom was still the same familiar classroom from earlier. Nothing had really changed about it so I felt more comfortable there. Sitting in the classroom reminded me of the past school year.
I think it was in the beginning of the school year we had the worst English teacher ever. Since the school was so new so were the teachers. My first English teacher was just horrible. I don't remember learning anything from him. It was around November that my class got switched to Ms. S. I'm going to refer to her as Ms. S because I just don't feel the need to say her full name. It's not a foreign name or anything it just sounds cooler like that.
Now that she was doing summer school she was a bit more relaxed and didn't yell as much. Her class was full of idiots, including me for being there. Most of the other kids here were the "cool" kids. The popular ones. I never associated with them because I wasn't cool like them. I was just the socially awkward kid that people occasionally talked to when they're bored.
I don't think there were any girls in my class. So yeah it was just us guys.
On the first day I was there we didn't really do much. Just a couple of crossword puzzles and stuff like that. Her class was a breeze. Since her class was only half of the three hours we had to switch to the math teacher during the other half of the school period.
So class ended and we were lining up by the door to exit. This one kid opened the door from outside. The first person I noticed was "she". She was with her friends. Again it was like everybody else disappeared and she was the only one there. We had an awkward 2 seconds of eye contact. Then I looked away. I felt my cheeks get warmer. What was wrong me? Every time I saw her my mind took me back to time when we me and her had something really special.
It was back in art class. You know that weird feeling you get in your stomach when you finally admit to your crush that you like them? I had that feeling for the rest of the day back when I finally made it official with "she". Oh man how I would kill to feel that feeling again. It was weird feeling. I haven't felt that feeling ever since then.
Throughout the whole day. I felt real weird. I mean it wasn't like I was dating my dream girl or anything. I don't think anybody but Abbygail knew of "she" and me. And that was good thing. It was great to just keep it between yourself.
And I wished that I could have kept like that for the remainder of the time I was with her. But eventually somebody says something. And then somebody else says something. And then everybody knows. Everybody!
I knew that the rest of her friends were obviously going to find out. She was still just a little girl. What little girl wouldn't want to tell the world that she had just started dating her very first boyfriend? Oh yeah. Did I forget to mention that? Teehee. Yeah weird right? I at first didn't think much of it. But I was kind of burdened to like show her all the basics of how a relationship should work. I myself was still new to this whole dating thing. I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable so I lied and said she was my first girlfriend ever. I did that so she would look at me as just Alex. Not some monster player ya know.
I exited English class and went out to the hallway. I passed right by her and tried my best to keep cool. I told a bad joke to Jacob and laughed out loud. I wasn't going to let her look at me a beaten down sad monkey. I had to show her that I was the happiest I could ever be. I think it worked although I didn't really see her pay much attention to me.
We were off to the math teacher's room. I still didn't know who she was. Her classroom used to belong to my Math teacher from before. For some reason when I walked in the atmosphere was different. Everything was so different and the mood wasn't the same friendly mood I felt when my Math teacher was in the room.
I had never seen this teacher before. She looked older than Ms. S. And Ms. S was old, believe me. She too had a mean look about her face and just like "Ms. Nerdy Face" I can't remember her name. Maybe that's because they were just too boring for my brain to keep track of them. That's a nice thought.
My first impression of her was right, she was strict. But just like most old teachers all you had to do was change the subject and talk about something like their family or whatever. She went on and on about hers.
In her class we had to solve these weird puzzle math problems. It was really the most stupid thing ever. You could literally just look at somebody else's puzzle and turn the puzzle in because that was all she checked. And when we were done we could go on the laptops. That's just about all that I remember doing in her classroom. And listening to music. Because music is the only thing that really lasts forever.
After her class it was time to go. Sometimes Jacob and I would run into Jonny as he was coming out of his class. Then we would all walk together as buddies and stuff.
As we were walking down the hallway I ran into "she". She almost bumped into me. She didn't say anything. She just looked the other way and ran to her friends. I guess that was reasonable. She had no real reason to apologize anyways.
It still killed me how now she was nobody but a stranger. I remember how it used to be back earlier in the spring. Back when I was more than just a memory to her.
Back during the end of April was when we first started dating. I was her first and as far as she knew I was her first. For the first few days all we did was just hang out and talk about simple things nothing extremely talk worthy. I was actually trying to take things slow. It was always her friends that got to me. I think it was one day after my last hour that two of "her" friends came to me and gave me a note that read "HI ALEX! WE JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO MAKE YOUR MOVE ON "SHE" ALEX+ "SHE"= FOREVER." I hated that they were telling what to do with my relationship with her. I mean she's my girlfriend. Piss of please. However for some reason I knew they were right. I had to somehow lace a kiss on her lips.
That was going to be hard. I hated my low self-esteem.
How do you kiss someone that doesn't know how to kiss?
It was 12:30 now and I finally decided to walk home again. I did the exact same thing I did every time I got home from school. Play video games. I suppose my summer wasn't exactly going to be so terrible after all. If every day was going to be like this I couldn't really complain. The only thing that got to me was the waking up early part. The least favorite part of my summer.
A lot of stuff was going through my head at the time. I could never really sleep because I was always thinking about stuff. It was never even really important stuff. Just small simple things. Like what I could've done instead of doing that. Also vice versa, like what I could do the following day. What I could say. And "she" was always there looming in the back of my mind. It was hard to just cut her off from memories.
Every time I would think of drawing I thought of art class and when I thought about art class I thought about her. It was hard not to. Even when I thought about the simplest things. I didn't even have to anything related to her. My mind would always ponder through those recollections that I had of her.
I didn't even know what to think about anymore. Every night was similar to this. I still hated that I had to have feelings for her. I couldn't let go. She on the other hand always seemed so unaffected by my presence. I was nothing but a stranger to her. And that hurts the most. It was all my fault really. Now that I think about it more, I was always that one that didn't try hard enough. And I blame my low self-esteem for that.
I really hated it.
