beethoven | jenlisa

xv.

[ LOVE AND HOW TO HANDLE IT ]

♪✧･ﾟ

JENNIE WOKE UP WITH A LOT ON HER MIND. despite getting little to no sleep, she found a way to wake up early and prepare for the first day of the new semester.

she woke up and thought of breakfast, then lisa. while eating she thought of how perfect her scrambled eggs were, then lisa. while fixing her bag she thought of what to bring, then lisa. while leaving her apartment she saw her neighbor's door: lisa's. so really the 'a lot' that's been occupying her mind was none other than, lisa.

the day came and went, and all her mind could mutter up was the thai. she felt she had gone insane, was it normal to think about a person this much?

the moment she came home and plopped down on the couch, she felt the urge to call up irene. the phone rang and jennie waited for the korean to pick up, "can i come over?" she hurriedly said.

"not even a hello?" irene laughed, "sure. you could've just texted me."

"and wait three decades for you to text back? yeah no, i don't think so."

"whatever," jennie could hear irene moving on the other line, "what time are you coming? i'm going to order dinner."

"right now."

irene chuckled, "what's with the rush? why are you coming over anyway?"

"lisa . . ."

"why? are you finally losing your sense of hearing?"

"no she stopped that – well, she did it again last night but it's not about that – no it kind of is, partly, but it's not specifically about that. it's just, this whole thing, you know?"

"oh my god," irene whispered, "yeah, come over. immediately." and hung up the phone.

the reason for jennie's eagerness to go to irene's place was to vent her feelings out. irene understood her better than anyone, better than herself even. through all confusion and doubt, irene has always been there to guide her – especially when it came to love.

♪✧･ﾟ

jennie knocked on the korean's door, "coming!" irene shouted.

"come in – why are you wet?" jennie's hair was dripping and her clothes were damp.

"i forgot to bring my umbrella." the younger korean softly mumbled.

"oh you poor thing, let me get you a towel, wait here."

irene came back and handed jennie a black towel. jennie dried herself up as she headed inside irene's apartment.

"i ordered fried chicken. let's talk while eating, i'm starving!" the smaller korean went to the dining table carrying plates and utensils.

after taking a trip to the bathroom and properly drying herself up, jennie joined irene on the dining table. "mmm!" she hummed while sitting down and grabbing a piece of chicken.

"so," irene took a spoonful of kimchi, "what happened?"

"well, i'm avoiding lisa – at least trying to."

"why?" irene raised an eyebrow.

"i don't know really."

"do you like her?"

"hm," jennie paused, "i think i do. much more that i could ever admit."

irene meekly smiled at the girl in front of her, "i think you're afraid."

"afraid? of what?"

"love," irene took a big bite of the fried chicken, "god, this is good."

"that's a big word," jennie chuckled.

"a big word for big feelings," irene pointed the chicken bone at her, "listen, i know you. you have a habit of . . . avoiding feelings. i'm not really sure why but when you like someone . . . your first instinct when you feel something is to make it go away."

jennie's facial expression changed, "really?"

irene almost got out of her seat to hug jennie. the korean looked like a lost kitten, "aww! don't look at me like that." irene cooed, "look, it's just an observation. remember the first girl you dated?"

"next question."

irene chuckled, "poor girl. you guys dated for how long? 2 weeks, and then what? you stopped talking to her and basically erased her from your life. it was such a surprise to me because a week prior, you ranted to me about how sweet and cute she is."

"i was starting to like her and it –" jennie thought of the right word to describe what she felt, "overwhelmed me, i don't know."

"you see? i feel like you're afraid of that. you're afraid of feeling so much for someone because you don't know how to handle it. i wish you could let go and just let it happen – whatever happens or wherever it takes you."

irene ate some kimchi and continued, "jennie, you treat love like it's a bomb – you wait just a few moments before it explodes and run away. don't do that. you have to realize that love is a good thing, you're only cutting yourself short if you keep running away from it."

the younger korean looked like she was deep in thought, "hmm," she hummed softly. "you're right . . . then how – how do i handle it?"

"well, you're just fine with handling friendships, so think of it as such. really, platonic and romantic relationships are one in the same." she softly twirled her spoon in the air.

"i mean, look at us, we've been together since kindergarten. we've fought, we've argued, we've made up, but you've never ran away from me haven't you?" irene smiled.

"it's because you haven't kept yourself from me. when we have disagreements, you talk to me, and we fix it. you're open with me and you should approach love with the same openness."

jennie felt herself about to tear up, she stood up and hugged irene, "thank you, rene." she said as genuinely as she could.

irene smiled and kissed the latter on the cheek, "okay, okay, you can let go now."

jennie laughed and sat back down, "also, i think you should tell lisa what you feel. she's probably confused and hurt by you suddenly avoiding her."

"i'll get to that." jennie agreed and took a mental note to speak to lisa about it.

jennie felt bad – she had completely forgotten about what lisa would feel about this entire situation. if she wanted a better connection with the thai, she should also keep how her actions would affect the latter in mind.

after dinner, the two girls watched a movie. they talked about how their past few days have been, shared a few laughs, and overall enjoyed each other's company. their friendship was easy and comfortable, time flowed effortlessly when they're together. irene was someone jennie cherished with all her heart.

at a quarter before midnight, they bid their farewells and jennie went back to her apartment. as she walked down the hallway, she couldn't help but stare at lisa's door. she let out a quiet sigh as she entered her apartment. I'll talk to her she mused to herself before falling asleep.

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just a quick update, i wanna get back to writing again. if you have any thoughts, i'd like to hear them down below! <3