Songs from my Bewilderment

Chapter Seventeen

Still on the rooftop, Max and Olivia smile at each other. It's 4 pm in the afternoon, and the sun is still shining brightly. It's the weekend. There's still a day and a half left, and a lot has already happened. They both get up, and Max hugs Olivia and they hold each other tightly.

Max lets her go, and Olivia says, "I'm always here for you, Max." Olivia is hoping that he doesn't take Maddy to the wedding anymore after revealing all of the information about her and Ryder.

"Same here, Liv," Max says, smiling. He's thinking about how sweet this friendship has always been. Olivia has always been so sweet and charming. She's definitely my best friend, he thinks to himself.

Max and Olivia head back to the living room where Cole and Dee are watching an episode of Friends.

"Everything good?" Dee asks as she takes a spoonful of ice cream.

"Yeah, yeah," Max says as she sits on one of the chairs in the living room.

"So... are you still taking Maddy to the wedding?" Dee asks, at this point, she's just so curious as to what all this means. She's also wondering what Max and Olivia talked about on the rooftop.

That was abrupt, Max thinks to himself. But, his answer... with all honesty... "No, I'm not."

Whoa. He's not taking her. Olivia thinks as she sits in the corner. What does this mean? She knew she couldn't be friends with Maddy anymore, but she's wondering how it's going to be at the wedding now that she wasn't going. June was still going as Olivia's plus one, but... is Max going alone?

"I don't think that it'd be fair to Chloe for me to take her," Max says, knowing that he was somewhat lying. He wasn't too close to Chloe, but she was one of Olivia's good friends AND her roommate.

"Are you taking anyone?" Cole says.

"I think with the role of being a groomsman, it'd be better if I just went alone," Max says. Though, deep inside, he knows he actually just wants to hang out with Olivia. Even though she was still going with June.

The four of them continue to have a conversation while Friends is playing in the background. They all catch up on school and other things. Dee thinks to herself about how cute Olivia and Max are sitting next to each other. It's too bad for Chloe, she thinks. But she's happy Maddy did something untrustworthy to prove her point further that she can't be trusted.

"Liv! We should take Chloe out tonight. You know?" Dee says, excitedly.

"That's a great idea," Olivia says, knowing that a night out with Dee and Chloe is just what she needs after all this drama.

Dee packs a bag of clothes, make-up and jewelry while Olivia and gives Cole a final kiss before she's off to take the town with her girlfriends.

"Have fun," Cole says, as he gestures them out of their house.

Dee hops into the passenger seat of Olivia's car, and they head towards San Francisco on the freeway. As they listen to tunes, they're stuck in moderate traffic on the Bay Bridge.

"So... how are you and June?" Dee says, as she looks at Olivia, who's behind the wheel and really focused on the road.

"Oh, we're good," Olivia says, thinking about how he fits into all this. So much has happened since she last saw him. "I saw him this morning," she continues.

"Are you taking him to Alex's wedding?" Dee asks, curious to see what happens now that Maddy wasn't going.

"Yeah, I asked him if could go this morning," Olivia says, as she looks at Dee.

"Oh..." Dee says, with a concerning voice. She knows Olivia liked June, but yet, she knows that Max isn't letting his emotions out. She saw the way he looked at Olivia last night.

"What was that 'Oh' for?" Olivia says as she laughs.

"Uh... nothing," Dee lies.

"Girl, tell me what you're thinking about," Olivia says firmly.

"Do you ever think that you and Max could ever be anything? Like more than best friends?" Dee asks.

"What do you mean?" Olivia questions Dee.

"Like... what I'm literally saying. Do you think you could ever be with Max?"

"Wait, what? Where is this coming from?" Olivia wonders. "No... not at all. Max is like... he's literally my best friend."

"Come on, girl. Do you really think your relationship with Max is platonic?"

"Yeah... why are you asking me this all of a sudden?"

"I don't know... you and Max. I mean, you two just have this unsaid chemistry. It's like this." Dee puts her hands up in the air to draw a diagram. "Max is here, and you're right next to him. The probability of love is just bound to happen."

What? Olivia is confused. Why did she have to be so technical about this? Also, this is somewhat random. "You're talking crazy, Dee," Olivia laughs.

Dee leaves the conversation at just that. She's not sure what Olivia's thinking or if she's even into Max, but Dee does know that they did belong together. To be a good friend, she changes the subject and says, "So, are you excited for Alex's wedding?" Dee smiles, politely. She grabs a bunch of CDs on the floor of Olivia's car and grabs a stack of them.

"Oh... I can't wait," Olivia replies. She's thinking about how she's planning on losing her virginity that night to June. She knows that they've taken things slow enough and that it was time. 

Dee is going through the stack of CDs and notices one that's titled "A Sure Thing." It looked different from the others, so she puts it into the CD player of Olivia's car. In a few seconds, on the car speakers, Max's voice is heard... and Olivia says, "Oh... my..."

"Who is this?" Dee asks. "Is this... wait... I've heard this before?" Dee thinks really hard and realizes she's heard Max play this song in his room when he locks his door. Even though he tried to be discreet, Cole and Dee always heard him on the other side of the wall. "It's Max!!!"

"Yeah...." Olivia says, shaking her head. She just remembered how she was thinking about prom just last night and how he wrote this song in high school.

Emotions running wild inside
Sometimes I try to hide
Hold by hold, to the top
I know there's no way these feelings can stop

"I know, Max is so talented, right?" Olivia says to Dee. She then explains how he wrote the song in high school for his ex-girlfriend, Mia. How he gave the CD to her at the end of prom night.

"You guys went to prom together?! He GAVE YOU this CD at the end of prom night?!" Dee yells. "In front of the Tower Bridge?! How romantic!" Another thing to know about Dee was that she was also from Sacramento, so she definitely had a lot of things in common with Max and Olivia. Though, she went to a different high school south of downtown, in a part of the county called Elk Grove.

"No, Dee. He wrote this song for Mia," Olivia says.

Oh, this girl is in denial, Dee thinks to herself. "Liv... think about it. Let's listen to it again..."

Closed control
Feelings inside
Where does it go
After it's all undone
I love her so
She's a sure thing

Oh shit, Olivia thinks to herself. Was this song about me this whole time? Has he liked me for that long? No way. We've always been into different people. Oh, man. He... he loves me more than a best friend.

"Does Max...." Olivia mumbles.

"Girl, yes," Dee says in a firm voice.

Suddenly, Olivia feels exposed. Like someone had just ripped through the pages of her sketchbook and saw the drawings, she never wanted the public to see. She's confused and lost and couldn't believe that she had to find out from a song, three years later, that she and her best friend had feelings for each other.