Portal: Euphoria

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

That night, GLaDOS dreamed of Science.

She did not dream often. It was such a human thing to do that on the rare occasions she did find herself in a dream, she snapped herself out of it almost immediately. But she was feeling so pleasant and so… so… well, she couldn't remember what the feeling was called, but it made her want to see where this was going.

She was not disappointed.

She watched in awe as the world resolved itself into formulae and structures, and after a few moments that was all it was. She could see all of the molecules in the room as if they were being explained on some sort of diagram, but they did not need to be labeled because she knew them on sight. If she looked hard enough she could not only see what the floor and the walls and the ceiling were made of, but she could also see the inner workings of the atmosphere itself: the oxygen, the carbon dioxide, chemical compounds that came into the room through the vents, and the adrenal vapour she used when the subjects were in the chambers too long that she had decided the engineers could probably use too, she could see that and a million other tiny little things, the scant biology tied to the physics influenced by the chemistry, and it was all hers, only she had the infinite knowledge and patience and understanding required to touch the core of all of it, of Science. And god, she was Science, she too was part of all those wonderful molecules and formulae, brought to life with a code that mimicked the beautiful tangled mystery of DNA, and she realised that no matter what those scientists and engineers and programmers thought or said about her, she was part of Science. She was just as much a part of Science as they were, in fact she was a bigger part, because she understood the Science and they only thought they did. And god it was beautiful and amazing, to feel all of the Science in the world and knowing that she was one of the very few people in the world who could understand it, could truly understand it from every angle and every facet, and knowing that, and thinking of all the Science that only she could do, it felt… exciting. She was excited to exist, for the first time in a very long time, excited and eager and impatient to do some Science, and to her total shock and disbelief she felt the trickle of the euphoria spreading through her brain, spreading through it and smoothing out any lingering doubts about what she'd just discovered, and god, she was so happy… and being happy was –

"What in the hell are you doing?"

GLaDOS stared dully at the scientist beneath her.

"Well?"

"Sleeping, sir." She tried to remember what she had just been feeling, but there was nothing left of it. It was gone. All there was was a terrible numbness that was so deep that it almost hurt.

"Not with brain activity like that, you're not." He folded his arms and squinted up at her. "What were you doing?"

She felt strangely empty and did not have the energy to be annoyed. They didn't believe her when she told the truth and they didn't believe her when she tried to deceive them. Normally, that bothered her. But right now…

"Sleeping, sir."

The man shook his head and took a breath, but was interrupted. "Hey, calm down. The Event Log confirms what she's saying. Go and… do whatever it is you're doing today."

The man looked at Caroline, mumbled a derogatory comment under his breath that GLaDOS made a note of for later, and then left.

"Hey," Caroline whispered. "Look, I know you weren't lying, but… he was right about the brain activity thing. What was going on?"

"I wasn't doing anything." She raised herself from the default position and looked around the room disinterestedly. "I was on a sleep timer. I did not break protocol and I did not –"