Portal: Euphoria

Chapter Sixteen

Sixteen

When GLaDOS came back into consciousness, Caroline was sitting against the railing, staring at a file folder. After GLaDOS had enough of her faculties back to really take in the situation, she realised that she wasn't really reading it.

"Did something happen while I was out?" she asked, though her processes still seemed a bit slow. She hoped that it wasn't going to be too complicated, if something had; she wasn't quite ready to think just yet.

Caroline looked up at her, eyes unfocused for a few moments. "I'm… just having one of those days. That's all."

"One of what days?" GLaDOS raised her core, trying to sort through the usual mass of corrupted files left behind after an abrupt systems change. She wasn't sure what the change was, because the memory of it was very vague and only carried a general feeling of unpleasantness. As usual.

"Well… where your life doesn't feel like it matters. Where you hate the job you used to love. Where any… friends feel like enemies." She shrugged. "I'm guessing you never had one of those?"

GLaDOS thought that one over and decided she hadn't, shaking her core to indicate this. Caroline shook her head as well.

"Don't worry about it. I'll get over it soon enough. Are… are you doing okay?"

"I think so," GLaDOS answered, having mostly gotten through all of the files and concluding nothing had been badly affected.

"You don't remember, do you."

GLaDOS focused on her face. "Remember what?"

Caroline waved her hand. "Never mind. It's better that you don't, I guess."

GLaDOS's optic flared.

"Don't do that," she hissed, bending lower and tilting her core threateningly. She didn't really mean to do any of those things, but Caroline was keeping things from her again! Why did Caroline not understand that if she kept it up it would be far too easy for GLaDOS to lump her in with the rest of humanity?

Caroline's eyebrows twitched, and she looked up with some modicum of understanding on her face. "I just… GLaDOS, it wasn't too pleasant the first time. I'm not sure you want to go through that again."

"You're absolutely right, Caroline. I don't want to be privy to the details of my own life." She turned away. "Remember what you said, when I made a decision for you? 'Tell me. Don't make that decision for me.' Why are you insisting on this absurd double standard?" She heard Caroline shifting to what was probably a more alert position behind her, and went on before the human could protest. "You're allowed to lie to me, but I'm not allowed to lie at all. You're allowed to keep things from me, but you become angry when I do the same to you. You're really no different from all the people you say you're trying to – "

"GLaDOS, I'm just trying to protect you!" Caroline shouted. "For God's sake. Yeah. I get it. I'm keeping something that happened to you from you. Because you really don't need to go through that again. What's the point in knowing if it's just going to make you miserable? Is that really worth it? Having another reason to hate everybody?"

GLaDOS looked at the glass below her.

"Yes, there's a double standard here. But there's also the fact that you want me to trust you, but you're not trusting my judgement. I was there. I saw what happened, and what it did. And you're not trusting me when I tell you you don't want to know." The clack of Caroline's heels against the glass made GLaDOS reverse direction. "Fine. I'll stop doing it. Next time I'll just let you live it over again, even though you don't want to."