i. Cameron Dallas
Another day, another life
Ahh, another morning started with Autumn Leaves by Ed Sheeran.
It's our morning song, you see.
I play it every morning before I get on the bus, earphones on.
"Bye mum, dad," I murmur sleepily, hair a bit damp from the hasty shower I took to wake me up.
I rush out the door, smiling back at Jacq as she flew out of her front door, in a mad dash to get to the bus before me.
Ah, another part of our early morning traditions.
"Ha!" she squealed, delighted, although I know she has a sneaking suspicion I let her win like every single morning since we started this.
She does a mini happy dance on our way to our regular seats, schoolmates looking up to toss a smile her way and nodding to me, most likely thinking, Hello, Jackie's best guy friend. Nothing to worry about, Sean's not worried - he's just her bestie is all.
Ah, whatever.
I chuckle as I slump forward on my seat, giving her a sideways glance as she stretched and smiled out the window, holding a hand out for the earphone reserved for her.
As I passed it to her, she asked, "Sup, Cammie?"
I scowled jokingly, "The roof. And don't call me that - it sounds too girly."
She laughed, and as always, I didn't want her to stop.
But she did, looking at me instead, freezing time as she regarded me with those deep, brown eyes, lips spreading into her more special smile, she once promised was reserved for me. Her upper-cheek dimples disappeared a bit and made way to her more not-so-deep dimple, to the right side of her mouth.
It made me want to trace her lips with my pinkie, including those cute little, basically unnoticeable marks at the two points of her lips, as if she had just stuffed a whole Hershey's bar into her mouth and didn't bother wiping it off - one of her biggest insecurities - also one of my favorite things about her.
We sat there just staring at each other, my mouth slightly crooked and slightly parted, overcome with the urge to just lean over and touch her lips with mine.
For a moment there, I actually felt like we were leaning in towards each other - she was so close that I could actually see each and every one of the thick, black lashes that framed her roundish-almond eyes, seemingly staring somewhere south of my eyes and nose, when - damn, a friggin pothole just had to -
"Oh," she winced, suddenly on top of me, both of us thankfully still on the two-seater.
But... our hands...
"I'm sooooo sorry," she murmured, frantically scrambling to an upright position, pulling my sweater collar forward with her, dusting me off.
"No, no," I dismissed. "That was, uh, th-that was me, my fault, ah, I'm... I just-" she cut me off with a timid grin, making me miss her soft, secret right dimple.
I smiled back, looking at the opening door.
We've arrived.
As I stumbled after her on the way out, I couldn't take the feeling of her hands off of my chest. For some reason, my hands were resting on her hips, her amazing hips, and we were nose to nose... God. Eskimo kisses. We were SO close... her hands... impossibly -
"Hey, morning Cam," Sean smiled at me, and it took me a moment to realize that woop-di-doo, just like every morning, Sean was waiting for her at the entrance, and now had his arm around her shoulders, her arm around his waist. And they were wearing goddamned matching hoodies today.
"Oh, morning," I nodded, to hide my smile-struggle and bro-fisted him on the way into the doors.
From here until the next morning, it'll be the two of them.
It's alright.
I can see the way she looks at him, smiling, kissing his jaw as she chats with him - all the little things I wished she would just... no, I'm being selfish. It's okay. Someday. If there ever comes that time I'd imagined fervently when she'd break up with him, or he'd break her heart (shudder) and then I'd be there to pick up the pieces - she'll realize.
Not that I wish heartbreak upon her, no.
I just... want her to be happy, at the end of every day.
I'll be at the sidelines, all my life if I have to - alone. Watching her. Guarding her.
And she'd probably never know.
