iv.
Jacques Jackson PoV
Jog, jog, jog.
I haven't done this in ages.
Missing someone isn't how long it's been since you've talked or even seen each other. It's when you're doing something and you wish they were right there with you.
Aw, man, where's Cam? We used to run together.
Ah, who am I kidding? It was my fault, we stopped because I had dates and stuff.
He's probably sleeping now, stars are out anyway.
I'm starving.
Dumping someone takes a lot of energy, and so does running all the way from school to my house, since I so stubbornly refused another awkward ride home from my ex, Sean.
Whew, it feels liberating and oddly exhilarating to say that. At least, for the moment.
I still love Sean. My theory is that if I still love him after not being his girlfriend for awhile, I'll go back to him, a perfectly good man, because then I'll know our love is real and that I was being childish (because we both no it - I am. I'm so lucky that Sean accepts that and loves me all the same - the whole package).
If not...
[Wow, oh hey, hi!
I haven't properly introduced myself.
My name's Jacques, pronounced 'Jack-ey', but I prefer Jackie.
What's that you say?
Cammie introduced me already?
Ayt then.
Moving on.]
I'm lucky I'm living in Canada and it's nearly winter since I wear hoodies all the time even when I run and I don't sweat because it's soooo friggin cold; but then again, if I lived in like, the Amazon forest, I wouldn't be wearing a goddamn hoodie all the time.
--
"Your heart is somewhere else, maybe?" Damn those blue puppydog eyes.
"Look, Sean," I sighed. "I loved you, I really..."
"Past tense, huh?" He smiled bitterly, averting his gaze.
"No, I'm serious. I care about you so much. It's just that... It's not the same anymore, and I don't want to fake anything."
"You mean, you fell out of love for me."
"Ugh. No! I just - I, ugh. No."
Oh man, I hate this.
"What did I do wrong?"
"Aw, Sean, it's just... I've started noticing you spend more time taking photos of me instead of actually looking at me and spending time with me, like before, you know? Just good ol' fanshioned I-want-to-know-more-about-you."
"Oh... I - I see."
"Sean, I'm no model. I don't like feeling like a model. I'm not picture-perfect -"
"I know, but to me you are beautiful, and I wanted to show you -"
"Sean, no," I cut him off firmly. "I don't want to be picture-perfect, because that's not real. And I want to be real."
"So this isn't about Cameron?" I tried to ignore how hurt and jealous he looked.
"Dammit all!"
"Alright, I'm sorry. Leaving him out of this," he quickly backtracked, and for good reason. I don't curse until I get really pissed off.
