No Control

Chapter 1: Shut up!

Amethyst's Pov:

I wonder what it would be like to live a life that you controlled. No one pushing you around, no one setting rules and giving out punishments. I want to make my own decisions...I want to be free. What if he kills me? What if his anger gets so bad that he kills me? He has anger issues, he snaps all the time...lashes out at not only me but his own mother. I don't know how much longer I can live in fear...I can't live with the fear that he could kill me one day...unless I were to do it first.

I could say it was an accident, I could say it was self-defense...if only.

"What are you doing? Get up and go make dinner. Don't be so lazy. Good for nothing, bitch. I don't know why I married you." He slurs, crushing his empty beer can in his hand.

I scurry off to not anger him more than I already had, he gets angry easily when he's had a beer. I never get a break, I'm always doing something wrong. I mean, in the beginning, things were great ...we seemed so in love but something changed, he started to hate me. I think he's been cheating on me, but to be completely honest I don't really care ...I just wish he would leave me already.

"What do you want for dinner tonight hunny?" I ask with my eyes to the floor.

"Lasagna, with more cheese this time. You didn't put enough in it last time." He barks

"We've had Lasagna twice this week...are you sure you don't want something else?" I ask...immediately regretting it.

"I said I want lasagna you fucking incompetent whore, now make me what I want." He yells angrily.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.." I stutter.

"Whatever, go do as you're told. Useless waste of space, I don't know why I keep you around." He mumbles as I walk away.

I know why he keeps me around, it's to cook, clean, and do his laundry. I take care of the house and the meals and all he does is sit around all fucking day on his lazy ass and watch football and drink beer. Except for when his mother comes to stay, then he pretends he's the perfect son and pretends like our marriage is perfect.

-----------------------------

I made dinner, he complained about something that I didn't put enough of into it and then passed out on his recliner. I enjoy it when he passes out drunk, gives me a few hours of silence to get things done without him telling me this and that and screaming at me because I'm incompetent and a waste of space.

When I married into his family...I never thought my life would become this. I'm trapped in an endless hell...and his mother doesn't see it. And when she comes to visit I have to pretend I'm happy or else he punishes me. His punishments vary, sometimes it's endless cleaning, sometimes he hits me...and sometimes he rapes me. But if his mother is in the house then I have to fake the sounds of enjoyment or it's a double punishment. If I misbehave too many times while she's visiting then he punishes me for two weeks straight or longer after she's gone. 

My life is a literal hell, and I don't know how to get out of it. I can't just walk out the door because there's a security system that only he and his mother know the code too and he sets it every time he leaves the house and when he gets home. He doesn't let me leave the house unless I'm going with him and his mother and that is maybe once or twice a month so I'm technically a prisoner. 

----------------------------

I was lucky today, he drank quite a few beers throughout the day and slept for four hours but that was also bad luck because he was up almost all night and if he doesn't sleep...I don't sleep. If he's bored, he'll have his way with me. And sadly...that was my fate tonight.