Words Per Feelings

sixteen

this anxiety attack,
they keep on drowning me.

you know that feeling when everything is feels wrong?
your chest become heavy - you couldn't breathe.
tears just keep falling off- you couldn't stop it.

pain, numb, messed up, choking, drowning - you feel everything at once.

you never asked for this to happen- they just, appears without permission.
like a surprise on a Christmas day during present opening session.

the more you tried to forgive-
the more you cant forget.
you suddenly feel like a bad person for not being able to push it off.

the person who's responsible for this-
is laughing, smiling, enjoying life.
while you just stood still, trying to forgive and forget.

its pitch black, hollow and empty inside you.
like a dark water, cascading through  your entire veins.
your arteries all blocked. your lungs extract. and suddenly you're wet drowning in the salty water of your tears.
it feels like you're floating in universe, bare open- no oxygen, zero gravity.

you wish for death, but you wanna live.

until you passed out. waking up numb, swollen eyes, ripped heart, hazy sights. trembling, trying to be okay again.

you took a pillow, screaming out your lungs. wishing it all could go away. tears keep rolling down. theres nothing you can do.

you just- feel it.

- nh