GANGSTA'S PARADISE

1

"Worthless bitch! How many times do I have to tell you that you are a useless piece of shit," my own father shouted at me, his brown eyes piercing mine as he grabbed me painfully and violently by the neck and pressed me against the wall.

"You useless bitch." He squeezed harder, my eyes widened as my lungs began to search for oxygen. The muscle just about the size of a fist, if it stopped working we would die. The muscle we call our heart. Its beat gets deeper. My eyes watering, hoping it would push harder.

Please kill me. Please!

My eyes are getting heavier by the second, my heart is slowly beating against the chest. When I thought I was gone, breathing my last breath, he let go of his hand.

I slide down the wall, gasping for breath.

And why? Why didn't he do it?

"Get out of here before I really kill you," he hissed, with hateful eyes I looked at him and got up.

"I hope you rot here with your alcohol and drugs." When I said that to him, he punched me in the face.

With empty eyes I looked at him, every day I wonder how my mother fell in love with this cold-hearted bastard.

I spat in his face and turned around, he grabbed me from behind and pushed me against the wall. I could feel his breath on my neck.

"Get out of here, whore. If I see you here again, I swear to God I'll kill you." He's threatening me. This is the first time I've followed what he told me. I'm better off without him. I don't need him to survive.

"Fine. I'm leaving, but remember one thing. I'm happier that Mom took her own life than being married to some cold-hearted bastard who assault his wife and daughter. At least she's in a better place without a husband who can't control himself and beats them until they're all bruised." Then he'll hit me again, but this time harder, and it will leave a bruise.

His hand found my neck again, this bastard pushed me out the door and shouted: "Come back and I'll slit your throat like your precious whore of a mother did." With that he closed the door.

I turn around and walk the old fucked up street with drug junkies, dealers and prostitutes. I walk down the street with my head down. Cars honking, people screaming, Latin music blaring through the shops.

The hot Mexican air meets my naked arms and legs. At José's, I wondered where I should go. I'm basically on the street. But I'm so happy to be out of the fucking house.

I stopped in front of a shitty house that almost broke down. The gangster rap is racing through the four walls.

"Jose! Open the fucking door." I screamed while  banging on the door. Seconds later, his cousin Rico opened the door with a gap between his thin, crispy lips.

"Hola mami, come in." He smiled at me, I rolled my eyes and went inside.

Rico is a 16-year-old boy who lost his father to heroin and his mother to alcohol. When I first met him, he was 13. He has no one, just Jose. Jose's parents don't give a shit about him. I knew Jose since I was in diapers. He's like an older brother to me and my best friend, but he has his problems. He'll do anything for money. When I say something, I mean anything.

Jose and Rico are in deep shit. They just got into the drug business. I'm not just talking about small amounts of weed to students, but kilos of cocaine, heroin and more. That's why I'm always scared that one day I'm gonna lose them like my mother.

"Rico, don't call me that, I'm six years than you." I said and I walked down the little corridor. I jumped on the old sofa and sighed. Rico sat next to me with a worried look on his face.

"What's the matter?" He pulled on his wrist and reached out to me.

"My sprem donor kicked me out." He passed me the blunt and I dragged a long drag of it. I'm not a junkie but sometimes I just need the stuff. Like alcohol I'm not a drunk like my dad but sometimes it helps to forget my problems. But I can control it. I never did hard drugs just Marijuana nothing else.

"Holy fuck." he said, taking the joint out of my hand.

"Where's Jose?" I asked.

"He's out doing business." I just nod.

"Some day he's getting him self killed if he doesn't  watch out." I said and gave him the blunt back.

"I know man. But we can't stop we need the money." He said as he pulled a drag of it and handed me over.

"Can I crash here till I find something for my own?" I asked while watching the roof.

„Sure you can stay here as long you wish." He said as he plopped himself beside me.

The rest of the day we didn't do anything just hung out and smoked. It was around 8pm as my stomach starts growling like a damn lion.

"Damn someone is hungry." Rico laughs as I throw pillow at him.

"Shut up." I stood up and grabbed the next sweater that I could find and a black cap.

"Dude I'm out." I said as I walked out the door. He was to waisted to respond so he just nodded.

I walked down the busy streets of Mexico to the next taco shop. Not even one minute out of the shop I heard a car pull up behind me. The next thing that I knew the driver rolled down the window and shot the person who was a few feet away from me. I screamed as the body fell.

I ran to the fallen body. I pressed my hand in to the wound hoping the bleeding would stop.

"No No no, please keep your eyes open." I begged but his eyes closed and the body went limb.

Suddenly someone grabbed me from behind. I tried to scream then I felt a painful sting at my neck and everything went black.