A Joeysworldtour horror story

The shrekening

It's late at night, dark, about 2am and you are playing Minecraft all alone in your sad lonely apartment until you hear a creek in your closet. The closet starts to open bit by bit and you stare at your Minecraft world nervous and not knowing what to do. The closet starts to fully open and you hear loud tiptoeing noises on your moldy carpet. The figure tiptoes right next to your cot, you are shaking with extreme fear, scared of what might be standing next to your bed. The figure places its mouth right next to your ear and whispers soft "WoOwOoWoOwOs." As the figure starts to stand up, you start to turn the brightness down on your new Samsung galaxy phone that you stole from an eight year old that you saw at the mall.

The lights slowly turned on as the figure started going through all your stuff. It storms in your room and forces you out of your house. The figure has a musky scent that smells like Popeyes crispy magnolia chicken. As he carries you out of your house, he throws you into his van which is covered in Cheeto bags and skittles wrappers. He aggressively jams his keys in the car and steps on the pedal with a force of a ram ranch cowboy. He starts speeding down the highway going up to 90 miles per hour, hitting innocent pedestrians. After about five minutes he parks his car right next to what it seems to be a forest. He throws you out of the van and the you yell, "wHaT's GoInG oN!" He introduces himself as Joeysworldtour, the hottest hottie. You plead for your life as he threatens to take your Shrek hat away. He says that he will only let you go if you complete certain tasks for him. You accept the offer, scared shrekless, and begging for mercy.
When morning comes, you wake up with a chain around your hand that is connected to your licey, DISGUSTAAANNNGG bed. Luckily for you, you find a Bobby pin in your pocket which can help you pic the lock on the handcuffs. You use the Bobby pin and guess what muchacho, it somehow worked. You break free and walked out of the bunker. Unfortunately you see Joey standing there with a nerf gun, heavily armed and dangerous with a teen ninja turtles' sword and shield all made from the finest plastic. You decide to make a run for it. You start sprinting at 0.5 miles per hour trying to make it onto the highway, but looks like Joey is also fast, almost catching up to you, aiming his nerf gun directly at your head. You take a left confusing Joey on where to go, you hear him yell, "frik ya chicken strips!" In sheer anger. He is still searching for you, with extra amo in his nerf gun, he also tied a seductive bandana around his head that said, "GO GO POWER RANGERS!" You decide to keep running up north to find the nearest exit.
You keep running, running until you start to see the sunset (it took you about 6 hours to run 3 miles) you stop and rest at a nearby cabin. You open the door and find that there's other muchachos cooking meth in the basement. You decide to join in because you feel like you need a blow after you stayed up past your bedtime. BUT OH NO LOOKS LIKE THESE MUCHACHOS ARE WORKING FOR Joeysworldtour!!! Joey storms in the door and you try to find the nearest hiding spot but you are too late. Joey is already downstairs looking at you like you just ate his Burger King chicken nuggets. He lunges at you with the force of his 543 pound body. He grabs you and slams you against the wall. You're passed out in a severe coma.
It's been two weeks now, and you start to wake up, but you seem to be in bad shape. Joeysworldtour is leaning over you with drool coming out of his mouth, slipping onto your forehead. He takes your handcuffs off and says, "Take me to Wendys." You agree and get into the car. You're surprised that Joey hasn't attacked you with his 'teen ninja turtles' sword yet. As you get to the drive through Joey tells you to order everything on the menu, you do as he says because you can't risk your life again. The Wendys drive through worker doesn't take you seriously and only hands you a bottle of Sochi water. Joey is extremely pissed off at you and starts attacking you with his nerf gun. He starts screaming at you, yelling "NERF OR NOTHING" as he throws you out the window of his van. He tries to run you over but you roll to opposite side of the drive through. You stand up and start sprinting to a nearby McDonalds to find safety. Joey tries to preform a drive-by on you, pulling out his 'supreme nerf gun.' You dodge his rubbery bullets and run through the McDonald's door.
You run into the family restrooms trying to take cover. You run into the bathroom to find a few nine year olds juuling. You lock yourself in the stall and start to have an internal panic attack. You feel like you're itchy and start to scratch at your neck, you found a hidden camera device inserted into your clavicle. You realize that it might be joeysworldtours' way of finding where you are. You smash the small device on the floor. A few minutes later you see Joey coming into the bathroom looking through the crack of your stall and he start to walk closer to it.