i think it's love | ethma

nine

Mark comes up to her at school one day, while she's at her locker.

"Do I have a chance with you again?" he asks, voice pleading. Emma looks up at him, his beseeching gaze, and without her consent her eyes flicker down the hall to where Ethan is standing. She can't quite explain how she can tell when he's there, burning a hole into her head, but she can.

When he notices her looking, his eyes glance away, and he goes back to leaning against the wall, chatting up some girl.

A blonde girl.

She slams her locker shut with unnecessary force. "You broke my heart, Mark"

And then she walks away.

Somehow, she and Amanda become friends. It's strange, she knows; and the whole school knows, too; she can practically see the collectively raised eyebrows of everyone in her class. It doesn't make any sense.

And yet, it does. Amanda is funny and smart and athletic and Emma begins to like her. They start hanging out outside of class.

The two of them are at a party one night.

Amanda nudges her arm and nods to a brunette in the corner of the room, sulking. "That's Sydney. Senior year. Recognize her?"

Emma glances at the girl Amanda's nodding to. She's pretty, of course, and with piercing green eyes. Definitely Emma's type. "And you're telling me this because...?"

"Because," Amanda announces, stretching, "She's been staring at you for the past fifteen minutes. She wants your D. Your metaphorical D," she amends with a grin when Emma gives her a look.

When Emma doesn't say anything more, Amanda nudges her again. "Come on. You need to get over Mark somehow."

"What about you?" Emma shoots back.

"Let's just say I've taken care of that already," Amanda replies with a wicked grin. Emma idly wonders who fell prey to Amanda's charm. "With Ethan. It was practically hate sex," she adds quickly when Emma's mouth drops, incorrectly interpreting her shock. "Just to get over Mark, you know? I know, he's an asshole, blah blah blah, and I'll dismantle his shitty truck for you or something to make up for it, okay? But it's your turn now."

Well, clearly Ethan hasn't had any trouble moving on from— whatever they were. Which admittedly, even Emma doesn't know. And yet, she still feels betrayed somehow. But whatever. She's here to move on.

So Emma goes and says hello to Sydney.

And then she kisses Sydney.

And then she has sex with Sydney.

She thinks maybe that'll be the end of it; but the thing is, she really likes Sydney.

So the next day, she asks her on a date.

Emma brings Sydney home one day with her, and Ethan sits up straighter.

He's always been able to tell, somehow, unerringly, the difference between her platonic friends and her romantic conquests. She's not sure what it is, but as soon as Sydney walks through the door, he sees it. And his eyes narrow.

Emma tells herself she doesn't care. She takes Sydney up to her room and they talk for a while and kiss for a while and she doesn't care if Ethan sees. In fact she sort of wants him to.

She doesn't care. And neither does he.

She regrets it, sometimes. What she said to him, spilling all her feelings out in heartbreak. She hates to admit it but he was right— she never would have said what she did if alcohol hadn't been warming her veins.

She knows she can't have him. He sleeps two doors down the hall. And his brother, right next door. And that's reason enough to leave it well alone.

But that doesn't stop her heart from skipping a beat in those brief lapses in meanness, when he leans against the counter and laughs at something she says, and she can't help but grin too, and she sees his eyes flicker down to her lips, and hers down to his, and then Grayson walks into the kitchen complaining about practice and suddenly they've got mutual scowls etched into their features.