i think it's love | ethma

eleven

"Emma!" her mother yells up the staircase, months later. "Come down for dinner!"

Emma has every intention of staying up here on her bed for as long as she can. She's got a ton of homework to do and she's trying to subtly hint to Mark, who keeps texting her, that she really doesn't want to talk—

"Emmo!" Grayson shouts up the stairs as well. He sounds excited. "Ethan's here for dinner!"

After a moment, Emma sighs and rolls off her stomach.

When she gets downstairs, Grayson is grinning ear-to-ear. "It's been such a long time since we had dinner together," he says happily, beckoning Emma into the kitchen. She follows, trying to prepare herself.

As always, she can never quite prepare herself for the sight of Ethan. Those eyes of his always leave her strangely caught off guard. She halts involuntarily in the doorway, taking in his brown hair, a little longer than usual, the small amount of scruff growing on his face.

She's suddenly aware she's been studying him too long, especially when his lips begin to spread into his trademark mocking grin. "The beard doesn't suit you," she finally tells him to save face.

He seems to accept that as a reason. "Nice to see you too, Em— Emma."

Dayton chuckles softly. "I was just telling him that the scruff makes him look more mature."

"Well, he needs as much of that as he can get," Emma mutters, sitting down opposite.

Ethan snorts. "I could say the same for you. Maybe you should grow a beard."

Emma smiles sweetly. "And I'd probably grow a better one." Ethan's face drops into one of indignation and he opens his mouth to respond but he's cut off.

"I can't believe this," Grayson exclaims suddenly with a giggle. "You two are literally so competitive that you're arguing over who could grow a better hypothetical beard."

Emma admits it's a little ridiculous. But then again, their relationship has always kind of been.

The phone rings.

"I'll get it," Dayton says, dropping his fork and waving down Sophia as she rises up. "You keep enjoying dinner."

Sophia sits back down and turns to Ethan. "It's so good to have you here, Ethan. Graysonand I were just talking the other day about how you don't come by very often."

Ethan takes his time answering, sipping from a glass of water. "I'm sorry about that," he says softly, but he's looking directly at his twin brother, not Sophia.

Grayson shrugs, trying his best to look unbothered. "It's okay."

Emma knows he's just making an effort to act strong. She and Ethan exchange half-amused glances, and as soon as they realize what they're doing, they look down quickly at their plates.

"Sophia?" Dayton calls from the other room. His tone is strange. "This is for you."

Her mother shoots the three of them an apologetic look. "It's probably work. I'll be right back." All three of them know that it's just as likely she won't as she will. That's always been her modus operandi. Emma accepted that a long time ago (grudgingly), as she know Grayson and Ethan have, by the way their mouths set.

"How's college?" Grayson asks after a few minutes of silence and scraping cutlery on plates. "I mean, I know you've been texting me and stuff, but I feel like you're leaving out the really good stuff." Emma is irrationally jealous that Ethan doesn't text her.

Ethan shrugs noncommittally. "It's busy, Gray. With all the studying and everything else, I hardly have time to shave." At the smile she hears in his voice, she looks up; he's grinning at her. Despite herself, she feels her own lips curve upwards.

And she admits to herself that she's kind of missed him, to be honest. She's missed everything about him. She's missed the way he smiles, the way he laughs, the way he makes her laugh now and then, the way he can get under her skin in the best way, the smell of him lingering in the halls, his shampoo sitting in the shower, and even his fucking pranks. After the fact, she just misses everything about living with Ethan Dolan. Maybe it's misplaced nostalgia, she doesn't know. But it's not the same thing as the way she has lived with Grayson, or her mother or Dayton. It's different with him. Always has been.

She's this close to opening her mouth, letting those words fall out: I missed you. She can feel her heartbeat racing as soon as she decides to say it, and her eyes flicker up to his and she can tell he's already realized she's going to say something and he looks so expectant, ready for their usual banter but she can't wait to surprise with him what she's going to say—

Her mother reappears in the room, clutching the phone to her chest. "Emma?"

All three of them look in her direction, at the odd tone of her voice. Dayton is behind her, looking sombre.

"What?" asks Emma, and she can't explain it but there's a bad feeling rising in the pit of her stomach.

"Something's happened, darling," Sophia says quietly.

Emma is already rising from her chair when her mother says it.

"It's Will."

-

She can't get over how pale he looked.

So pale and colourless despite his brown skin. When she saw him, hours ago being whisked off by nurses, she couldn't stand the sight of him. She couldn't stand the lifeless way his hand dangled off the side of the gurney as they pushed it down the hall.

"Will!" Emma had cried hysterically, trying to push past the doctors in her way. "Will!"

Another arm pulled her back— her mother. "He's going into surgery right now," Sophia said into her ear tersely. "Don't make a scene."

Now, Emma is sitting in one of the chairs in the ER waiting room, her mother on one side and Ethan on the other. Dayton stayed home with Grayson. Will's father is not sitting; he's pacing the room aggressively, eyes manic. Emma can't blame him.

She glances to her right. Ethan is staring at the ground, tapping his foot. Emma isn't entirely sure why he came along. She never thought he really cared for Will. She turns to her left.

"What happened?" she asks her mother. "What fucking happened?"

"Don't swear," Sophia automatically chastises.

Emma gives her mother a look. Sophia gets it.

"He was stabbed," Sophia says quietly.

Emma wipes an angry tear from her eye. "Obviously. Why?"

"They think whoever did it was trying to get to his father," Sophia replies quietly. "Do you know what day it is, Emma?"

She's not sure. She's not sure what her own last name is right now, actually.

Sophia answers her own question. "It's the anniversary of the pipeline explosion incident." Beside Emma, she can see Ethan's shoulders stiffen upon hearing that. "They think it might have been an act of revenge by someone affected by the explosion."

"So they don't know who it is?" Emma asks.

"Not yet." When Emma doesn't say anything, her mother adds, "Don't worry, darling. They'll find who did this."

Emma isn't sure she feels comforted by that.