Comfort Zone

Ten

No, no, no.

Clutching the sides of his head, Vos felt panic creep into his bones, an endless tremble in his muscles. A rock formed in his throat as words failed him. Thoughts were jumbled, pain was stinging his skin. She's gone, she left, she escaped, she's not there for him anymore.

A shout erupted from his chest as he blindly punched the closest object to him, which happened to be the outer wall to the Temple. He stood outside in the faint moonlight of the night, hoping to find an ease to his pain. Alas, it seemed to do the opposite, further frustrating and angering him. Hopelessness crawled behind his back and injected itself into his brain; his labored breathing and throbbing fist were the only things he concentrated on. Vos felt lost within himself, unable to find a way out of this maze he created.

But then, an exit.

"Quinlan," An accented voice said behind him. A voice that felt like a waterfall soothing his burns.

Closing his eyes, Vos breathed. "I know what you're going to say."

"Oh?" A familiar sense of brotherhood awakened in his words, and Obi-Wan Kenobi sat beside Vos on the ledge of the roof. "You realize that lying to the Council about where she went could get you expelled?"

Vos grinned, tears slipping through his eyelids. "At least I wasn't late to tell them."

A pause, then a hand on his shoulder. "You're conflicted," Obi-Wan began, "You're angry that she left; hysterical, but you let her leave; you aided her escape." The Jedi lowered his voice. "You're hateful to yourself."

Finally, Vos opened his hazel eyes to look at Obi-Wan, a face that was home to him. A face he didn't realize he ached to see for so long. He hiccuped, and gazed solemnly at the concrete below him. "I'm afraid," Vos wavered, "That I can't control myself as much as I previously thought."

"You don't need to."

Quinlan raised his eyes glanced at Obi-Wan's feverishly. "What?"

Calm and collected, as he always was, Obi-Wan pressed a finger to Vos's temple and gently pushed. A wave of peace and stillness flooded his brain. "You needn't suffer alone. You were never alone in this, Quinlan. You isolated yourself into thinking that you were the only one who thought they deserved the punishment that was isolation, but you were wrong."

Kenobi retracted his hands, and folded them, looking to the bustling city below them. "You gave everything, yet expect nothing. You shield yourself, yet expect to be hurt. You found a release, then let her go."

Quinlan let out a heave, then took a leap of faith. "And what do you think I should do?"

Obi-Wan smiled, and Quinlan followed. "I think you should sleep for a while. Get back into your comfort zone after being out of it for so long."

"You think?" Quinlan quipped, wiping away the tears from his face. Obi-Wan nodded silently and stood, pulling Vos gently with him.

"Masters?"

Quinlan's chest nearly burst at her voice, the prideful, unshaken voice it hadn't been those months ago. Turning his head, he saw Ahsoka leaning against the entrance to the Temple, arms crossed.

"Anakin's complaining again. I figured I might as well not be the only one to endure his constant chatter, so I came to get you two."

The two Jedi looked at each other knowingly, before Obi-Wan nodded at the Padawan. "Alright, Ahsoka, I'll deal with him. Master Vos has some resting to do."

Ahsoka nodded back, smiling brightly at Quinlan in the process. The two exited the rooftop, leaving Vos alone.

Though physically he was by himself, in his mind he knew he wasn't alone. A voice may tell him that he didn't deserve the saints that were his companions, but the Force reminded him that this too will pass, he'll rekindle that spark of hope, and forgive himself in time.

Quinlan Vos will find peace eventually, but for now, his comfort zone sounded like a good place to begin with.