Eleven years of sacrifice
And you can leave me at the drop of a dime
Swallowed my fears, stood by your side
I shoulda left your ass a thousand times
Well I'm not gon cry,
I'm not gon cry,
I'm not gon shed no tears
No, I'm not gon cry, it's not the time
cuz you're not worth my tears
Well I'm not gon cry,
I'm not gon cry,
I'm not gon shed no tears
No, I'm not gon cry, it's not the time,
cuz you're not worth my tears
I know there are no guarantees
In love you take your chances
But somehow it seems unfair to me
Look at the circumstances
Through sickness and health 'till death do us part
Those were the words that we said from our hearts
So now when you say that you're leaving me
I don't get that part...
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x Mary J. Blige - Not Gon' Cry
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King Hopkins
Things are slowly coming back around. I know it's still going to take Queen some time to come to terms about losing Kinicia. I took it hard too, but I knew I had to stay strong for Queen and Siah. Siah was excited to be a big brother and I was excited to be a daddy again. But at the hands of my father that was taking from me. I still hate him for what he did. I'm glad his dumb ass gone for good.
Some days she don't even look at me, talk, let alone sleep. Siah thinks she hates him. She don't eat. It's always a hassle when I try to feed her. So I mostly stick to soup and bread any over food I know she not going it. I miss my girl. It hurt me to see her like this.
"Dad does mom still love us?" He asked quickly. I noticed he's been doing everything he can to not be home or around. Sometimes I wish it could be that easy.
"Yeah she still love us." I said hugging him. I don't know who I'm trying to convince myself or him.
After a while I had him dropped off at school and I was back home. It was quiet. Nothing seemed the same anymore. All I could do is try and pray for things to get better. I heard a thump sound from upstairs so I went to check it.
"What are you doing?" I asked Queen. She didn't say anything for a while.
"M-Make love to me." She said above a whisper.
"You not ready Queen." I said being honest. This not a way to go about things. Sex is not going to make the pain go away. To me its just a numbing affect for a while. We all need time.
"Please King." She pleaded.
"Why?"
"I-I need this. Just please." She said. I sighed nodding.
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I woke up to an empty bed. Maybe she in the bathroom. I look to my left to see the door open. I got up to check the house.
I searched the whole house and she was nowhere to be found. I went back into our room something told me to check the closet. I opened the closet door and all her stuff was gone. I didn't know how to process this.
What was happening? Where did she go? I had so many mixed emotions going on I couldn't think straight.
"Hey dad I'm - What's going on?" I hear Siah ask.
"Sh-She's g-gone." I stammered. I made my way back to the bed. I put my head in my hands.
"Where did she go?" He asked.
"Josiah I...I don't know." I said.
There was no note, no nothing. She just left. I tried her phone and it was disconnected.
How could she just leave us like that? Where is she? Why did she leave?
Why?
