Relive the Story (a sequel to The Bullshit In Our Horoscopes"

1) Black Butterflies & Déjà Vu

Six months after the chaos that was The 2018 Vans Warped Tour and all I could feel were black butterflies and déjà vu. In those six months I underwent a kidney transplant, finished the immunoglobin infusions, recieved a bone marrow transplant, and as of a couple weeks ago was able to restart the clinical trial. I was still using oxygen all day long, but we lowered the amount I needed and things were looking up. In fact, we were hoping to ease into just night use again. Ron had to have his right leg amputated at the hip to slow the spread and was in need of a bone marrow donor. I was lucky to have my sister as a match, him not so much. The guys all got tested as well as his family, but still no luck. We had hope of finding a match soon though, and for now everything was going very smoothly. In November we were able to move out of the hospital and into a new flat. In order to pay off medical bills from Warped I took on extra work as a music instructor as well as grabbing a small paycheck from YouTube. We still had a long way to go both financially and medically speaking, but as Cody taught me, we had to take each day at a time.

I was finishing recording vocals for a cover of 'Black Butterflies & Déjà Vu' by The Maine when I noticed Ronnie standing in the doorway of my music room. He was leaning against the door frame wearing shorts and my Defend Pop Punk tank, putting pressure on his good leg and smiling his sexy crooked smile. I returned the smile, making sure Ron took in every word I was singing.

"I lose my voice when I look at you, can't make a noise though I'm trying to, tell you all the right words, waiting on the right words. Just another lovesick afternoon, black butterflies and déjà vu, hoping for the right words, waiting for the right words."

"Goddamn," he said under his breath. "That was fucking beautiful."

"You're fucking beautiful," I replied, greeting him with a long squeeze and a gentle kiss. "How was your nap?"

"Pretty fine, feeling rested and ready to continue the day with posi vibes. Just a reminder, we have a band meeting tonight. Guys coming over in a bit. Was thinking of ordering pizza if that's okay?"

"From Pizzaface?"

"Yeah. Some vegan, some not vegan."

"Awesome! By the way, do you ever feel like you're being washed over in déjà vu, minus the butterflies?"

"Hm? Guessing there's a reason behind this cover?"

"Other than the fact I have an insanely sexy boyfriend who makes me lose my voice when I look at him? Kinda. Was just thinking and it's kinda funny. Last May I was starting a new clinical trial and preparing for Warped. Had a band meeting to discuss set lists, got discharged and flew to the States on the same day, went on a tour, and nearly died but didn't. Now I just restarted the same trial and we're about to head back to the US for The Great Depression tour."

"It won't be as grueling of a tour this time, but I see your point. Does it make you nervous?"

"No, not necessarily. Okay, maybe a little bit. I just don't want to get pnuemonia again and be stuck in a hospital and have to pause the trial yet again. My sister needs her other kidney, so I really don't want a repeat of last Summer. Other than that, no."

"Oddly specific fear. It's winter so we'll prob catch something, but it's usually always treatable. Worst that will probably happen is we end up scaring Ben again and he threatens to quit. Just remember to wear your damn mask and we should be fine. This tour isn't as grueling as Warped. Less chaos, more fun."

Ron was an optimist, balancing out my pessimism with bursts of positivity and humor. I was more nervous about this upcoming tour. Both of us were still kicking cancer's ass, and that meant another tour of chemo on wheels. Ron was right though, this was a headliner not a chaotic free for all. We already mapped out which hospitals were closest to the venues for clinic days and scheduled what we could ahead of time. Hopefully this would be the last tour that involved planning clinic days.