"We learn what love really is in the absence of it." - a.r. asher
"Your heart's desire Swan, I promise that's all I want you to have." I said earlier, but if her heart's desire is to get herself killed or to fufill her destiny as she tried to sugar coat it infront of the lad, can I easily stand aside and let her do it? Can I really loose my soulmate, another love, because of shortsighted fate? Can I truly walk this strange town in a world that's not mine without the only anchor I have, the only one I want?
No, I couldn't.
I sat on the bay window seat in our bedroom, my gaze attending to the sleeping figure in the bed. Her hand was pressed against the pillow my head normally rested on, at least it wasn't shaking anymore, though I still couldn't stop my eyes flickering to it every few seconds to make sure. Her beauty while slumbering was just as bewitching as it was when she was awake, as if nothing could touch her in the dreamworld she payed a visit to everytime she closed her divine eyes. Her blonde tresses and golden skin glowing in the pale moonlight coming from the window I was now leaning against, the cold from the storm outside seeping thought the pane of glass calming the nausea I felt thinking about what was to come.
At over 300 years old I was no stranger to people passing before my eyes, both by my own hand and by other circumstances. My mother who died in her sleep when I was a boy of 4, Liam who died because of his own damn stubborness, my father who I killed with my hook in persuit of my own revenge. Members of my crew who had drunk themselves to death, who had taken their lives because they could not cope with the pirate's life, who had gotten themselves murdered in cold blood over the most trivial things. Friends who had been killed in duels, who had been executed and assassinated, friends that had sacrificed their lives for me and mine to live.
Milah, the first woman I truly loved with both heart and body and even though she was older than me, her soul was just as restless as mine . After meeting her in that taven my brain was whirring with the possibility of sharing everything I'd seen and experienced with someone so beautiful and eager. Thereafter we travelled endlessly to different worlds, in each place making new memories and finding new wonders together. Back then I never thought it would end and so I never really thought about the consequences of running away with another man's wife, then humilitating him.
That night when leaving the saloon I never thought the next day would leave me both handless and heartbroken. I never thought it would lead me on a 300 year quest for revenge, I never thought it would turn me into a heartless villain. When Leaving for Neverland I never thought it might lead me on a path that would bring me where I am today. I never thought it would bring me to true love.
Lying under a pile of dead bodies isn't a great first impression of someone, granted but as soon as I saw my Swan everything stopped. When she left me on top of the beanstalk I never thought betrayal could hurt that much again. When I woke up In the hospital, handcuffed to the bed I never thought someone would impress and surprise me like that again. When I stole that bean I never thought someone could get me to do something selfless again, but she did.
During our little adventure in Neverland, when she kissed me , it felt like fire being poured though my blood, then again infront of Granny's. Everytime she kissed me it feels like she's heeling a part that I thought had been ripped away. Those 6 weeks after The Snow Queen, Emma showed me a part of herself I knew she had never shown anyone as she mourned someone she had seen as family, while everyone else celebrated defeating another villian. When the darkness corrupted us both it felt like my soul and mind had been slaughtered, I hadn't even given it a second thought before sacrificing myself for my family.
After the Underworld, while we healed together I realised, not only is she healing my heart and body but my mind and soul too, now every part of me unashamedly belong to my Swan. So when I found out she had lied about the tremors, that she was going to die, I felt like I'd lost my equailibrium. It felt like I'd wasted 300 years of pain to find her just for her to leave this world without a fight. So while she thought I was disposing of the shears I made my up mind, if she thought I wasn't going to carry on fighting for her, foe our family, she was in for one hell of a surprise.
Looking back to the bed where my Swan slept, I remembered a saying I'd heard a lifetime ago. Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I'll miss you untill we meet again.
"I was placed in this universe to love you. and I don't take something that important lightly." - a.r. asher
A.N - I just saw the goodbye quote, I have no idea where it's from.
