The Pink Hotel

Real?

I cried that night. I cried more than I've ever cried before. I couldn't even feel time passing by. All I felt was both fear and sadness. I was absolutely terrified of losing my mind but here I was.

I was pretty sure everyone was terrified of losing their mind. Who wanted that? Either way, I was absolutely scared. I had no idea what would happen next. Who would I become? How would I feel to fully lose myself? Would I ever come back from it? I asked all those questions but I knew I knew the answer.  I would become something I'm not. When it came to feeling myself fully insane I would be gone so I would never get the chance to feel it. The main thing that scared me was never coming back but I knew the reality. I wasn't going to come back.

I wanted to die.

My whole life I never wished to die but at this moment I did. I would be myself if I lived so what was the point. What was the point of living if you weren't really yourself?

There was no point.

So at that moment, I made a choice. I choice I never wanted to make. All I wanted was my mind and if I couldn't have that what was the point.

I was going to die.

I was literally going to off myself and absolutely nothing was wrong with that to me. It was something I needed.

Life wasn't necessarily my thing but I never wanted to die because of it and now I never wanted to die because of it. I only wanted the best for myself. I only wanted to be myself. I only wanted to have my own mind.

I didn't want a life where nothing was real.

I picked myself up off of the floor I had been on for hours upon hours. It was late at this point so I figured that was the best time. I was a night owl so if I was going to die. I would want to die in the night.

I wasn't scared of dying I was just kind of sad. I didn't want to abandon the people around me but I had no choice. Either way, I would lose myself. I hoped I would at least go to heaven so I would have something to look forward to.

As I walked I barely moved my legs. I wanted to go slow and take my time appreciating the things around me you know considering was going to die.

it wasn't long before I reached the door and entered the long empty hallway I knew all too well. things were quiet and that was exactly how I liked it. I didn't want to deal with anyone one my death day.

I strolled down the hallway trying to remember all the things I loved. surprisingly the list was pretty long. I turned the corner and came in contact with a random door I figured had importance.

I didn't care enough to think about what might be on the other side. All I wanted was to find a perfect place to die in. I walked through the door without a care in the world.

A cold breeze hit me as I walked through. This whole place always had a cold breeze. I knew the moment I walked in that I should've killed myself earlier

It seemed like I was having another one of my crazy moments as the whole vibe and look of the hotel eerily changed. I continued walking with no worries because I knew it wasn't real.

The hotel looked old and dirty now. It looked like something had happened there. Something bad. Dirty flooded the hallway walls and the pink paint chipped. I wondered what made my mind come up with this.

As I walked along things started getting worse. I was becoming more and more shocked as the walls got dirtier and the paint was almost fully off. I came to notice how the lights slowly got dimmer and a nasty smell got stronger.

No matter how crazy I was I was still disgusted. The smell and the looks of the once luxurious pink hotel and been gut-wrenching. I just wanted it to be over.

Suddenly I got a feeling. A feeling that was telling me to turn around. I hoped it wasn't my crazy mind playing tricks on me. I slowly turned around with a bad feeling in my chest. Something was so off. So so so off.

My eyes fell on a scary but not surprising sight. I just figured my mind was a little dark. Behind me, walls had slowly begun being covered in a large amount of dark red, crimson blood.

In fact, the whole hallway behind me had been filling with this blood. I knew if I didn't run I would drown in it. I didn't run initially because maybe that was a good thing but my flight or fight response quickly kicked in as I took off down the hallway.

I ran down going left and right. It seemed like my mind had registered my running and began making the blood come down much quicker. I turned a corner nearly falling down flat on my face.

My fingertips ended up getting a touch off the blood as I ran. The moment I got it up towards my face and horrific smell hit me it was so bad I almost stopped right in my tracks.

I wiped my fingers on my clothes and continued. I had no idea how I got into this mess all I wanted was to kill myself before things like this.

Out of nowhere to hands grabbed both of my shoulders and pulled me back.

At that moment I felt like I went back in time. The evil man's disoriented face flashed in my mind. The feelings of not knowing what would happen or how came back suddenly. I hoped he wasn't back.

My eyes instantly closed as I hit the wall softly. Softly? The person who had grabbed me definitely was harsh.

I had initially been worried about who had taken me but the smell of nice Cologne calmed me down just a little.

My eyes opened to blue bright eyes staring at me worryingly.

My heart almost fluttered that was until I realized all of this wasn't real.

Nothing was real.