10 Years

14 - Bye

"Hey baby" Asher's voice was low and soft as he spoke to me over the phone, "You Ok"

It had been almost 3 hours sow since Bree left, 3 hours of trying to find a way around this, but either way I was screwed, the options I had were

1: Tell Bree I wasn't leaving Ash - live my life with him and raise our daughter, Sounds perfect right, but Bree is clearly unstable, she is having suicidal thoughts built from the fact that her marriage has fallen apart and she sees me as the cause, So Yes I could be that person - Asher and I could have a happy ever after together, but I would forever be tormented by Bree taking her own life for my happiness, which leaves me with the second option,

2: I call it quits with Asher, for good, come up with some story convincing him I changed my mind - We completely walk out of his life and let him try and work things out with Bree. Lil and I would lose but I would be living guilt free and Bree would get to live.

It was horrible - I hated that this was the path my life was going down, I hated that none of this would ever have happened if I had just owned up to Ash 10 years ago, that no matter which way I went this always had been and always will be my fault.

"Baby, are you ok" Ash whispered again,

"Yeah Ash, I'm good" I paused,

"Are you sure, you've barely spoken two words to me tonight"

"Yeah I'm good, Listen Ash, we need to talk"

"Ok, whats going on?"

"This is really hard Ash but I have been taking some time this afternoon, thinking about everything that has happened in the past few weeks"

"I know - it's crazy right"

"Right, and heres the thing, its a bit too crazy for me, things have been moving really fast and I just don't think this is gonna work out Asher" I paused, inhaling a few deep breaths to calm myself before I continued "You and me the more I think about it, the more I don't see it lasting, there is to much history here, too much time has past, so I think it would be for the best for me to stay in the city with Lily"

"WHAT, what on earth are you talking about Amara? has something happened?"

"It's just too much for me and Lily, It's too much for all of us and I really think it would be for the best if we just took some time to figure stuff out" My voice cracked as the tears spilled down my cheeks,

"Figure what out Amara, I don't understand, where is this coming from?"

"I actually don't need you to understand Asher - all I need you to do is hear me out, I am trying to tell you, I don't want to move and I don't" pause "I don't want us to be together"

"What, tell me your joking Amara, you cannot be serious right now"

"I am deadly serious Asher, I do not want to be with you, I can't be with you"

"For fucks sake Amara, Is this a fucking game to you, you show up after 10 FUCKING years with my daughter, claim you are still in love with me and now what, you want to leave me again?" I flinched at his harsh words, I knew I was hurting him, it was the only way.

"No Ashton, I really tried"

"Try Harder" I knew what I needed to tell him, What he would not want to hear, but would break him, and with my heart pounding so hard in my chest I thought it would penetrate through my skin I told him,

"Asher, I slept with Hunter" LIE - of course it was a lie, I loved Asher with my entire being - but Bree was my best friend in high school and I didn't want her to hurt herself, she deserved better than that. My false admission was met with complete silence,

"Asher, are you still there"

"Yeah" he paused "What about Lily?"

"She's my daughter Asher"

"She's OUR daughter Amara"

"Well, she will stay with me, I will raise her just like I have for the past 9 years"

"You are out of your god damn mind if you think for one minute I am going to let you keep her away from me"

"Thats where you under-estimate me Ash, I disappeared once, I will disappear again"

"I will find you, I will fight you for her Amara, I will not let this go, I will not let her go"

"I'm gonna go now Ash, I really hope you have a good life, promise me you will please look after Bree, good bye Asher Michaels"

"What the fuck does Bree have to do with this, don't you hang up that fucking phone, don't you dare try and keep my daughter away from me, don't"

I closed my eyes as I disconnected the call. I knew I had to shut my phone down, I knew he would try and call me until I answered, But I needed someone to talk to, and as I started typing a message to Hunter I rejected 3 calls from Asher,

Message Hunter Stilton: Hey Hunter, I know we aren't on great terms at the moment, But I could really use a friend if you have time to talk - please.

I hit the send button, praying that I hadn't destroyed my relationship with Hunter completely I curled myself up into a ball on the bed - I can't remember how long it took me to fall asleep, but when I woke in the morning, my head hurt, my eyes were swollen and stinging from crying and there was an ache in my chest, a deep dark whole right in the centre which was craving for Asher.