Falling for my best friend.

(27)

We went from 2am calls to no communication at all. 

Lovetta.

-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-

What am I supposed to do? Forgive him and pretend everything was ok? Just because he broken up with Nicole- Or the other way around- Doesn't mean I could jump in his arms and pretend I love him only as a friend again, and everything that happened between us never did.

But it did.

His words were like knives to my heart. It broke me even more. And once again, he didn't know.

"One for you and one for me." He whispered, his eyes holding so much emotions, it hurts to look into those hazel eyes.

God what does he do to me that makes me so weak every time I lay eyes on him?

My eyes flickered to the two gold rings and I let out a shaky breath.

He can't fix anything. Now anymore. I already confessed to him, let out all my darkest secrets to him. There's no going back.

"How can you give me a promise ring, when you couldn't even keep the one promise you first told me?"

Flashback:

Small arms circled around me and from his strawberry scent I knew who it was. I turned to look at him in his pair of funny color eyes as he stared into mines. He smiled at me and pressed our foreheads together whispering words in my ears, "I'll be your mommy. Because I promise never to leave you and always take you with me."

End of flashback:

"The day my mother died. Do you remember what you promised me?" I whispered, letting the tears roll down my cheek. He looked broken. Devastated and guilt swirled in those eyes I fell in love with. Eyes I still love.

"Lo-"

I shook my head and stepped back when he reached out to touch me. My eyes were burning and my nose stinging.

"Y-you promised." My voice cracked and i inhaled a shaky breath. "Promised To never leave me and always take me with you. Those words Neville kept me up. It kept me by your side. I knew now that my first bestfriend was gone, you would be my side. We went through thick and thin together!" I screeched. 

"Exactly Love." He grabbed my hands and pulled me closer to him. His hands cupped my cheeks and he pressed his forehead against mines. His breath smelt funny, but it wasn't bad.

"We went through thick and thin together. That just makes it more easier to explain, we shouldn't go apart because of mistakes we made." He whispered. "That night... I remembered that night, how could i not? It was the night i first felt you around me. You felt so warm and good god i loved it. I love you. I wanted so badly to moan out your name but i was scared, if i do you would freak. Fuck i want you so bad right now. Your the reason for everything in my life. You keep me breathing baby girl. I love you so much and i am so sorry it took me so long to realize it. I am so sorry, of the things i put you through. But please don't leave me. Don't push me away and walk leaving me behind you. I promised to take you with me, but you have to do the same."

I cried. "Don't leave me Lovetta. Please. Forgive me."

(Play song above.)

There's time's like this you wonder, 'Where did we go wrong?'

Looking back in my past, growing up with Neville and his family, Everything was so simple. Everything so...Innocent. We didn't have to worry about ever being apart. We believed we would be stuck together like paper and glue. That nothing could ever pull us apart, because we were inseperable. I believed it. Mom believed it. Dad Believed it. Neville Believed it....

So why can't i believe it now?

Why can't i nod my head, raise my lips to his and kiss him like it's the last time i'll ever get to taste those delicious lips. Why can't i forgive him? Is it because if i do, i'm scared he'll hurt me again? Or because he played with girls emotions, so he could play with mines too?

Or is it because, whether or not i say outloud that i forgive him, god knows. I know. 

Deep down, this boy in front of me. This man. He makes me forgive him over and over again, without even having to try. 

Him being in my life is a blessing and a curse. He's like a light, pulling a moth to his flames who doesn't know what she's getting herself into. 

In the end, the beautiful feeling goes down. You get burnt, And there's no going back.

So do i, Lovetta Smith, Want to get burn by Neville Stanford for the rest of my life?

****

The answer is ....