Can anybody hear me

Self hate

Hi I'm sonic the hedgehog. I'm 16 years old and I absolutely hate myself and my life. I never used to be this way but ever since the last time I saw my family I have hated everything in my life. I have no intention of living much longer. I'm just so far into this depression that I can't see any other reason to stay here in this world. I have no family no friends and no one who cares so I'm just going to end it soon. I'm halfway to school when I decide that as soon as I'm at home I'm going to just put myself out of my misery. I already have a knife and a pair of scissors in my car so I'm all set for after school. I pull up to the front of the school and grab all my stuff for the day and I store the knife and scissors in my waistband for latter use. I then head in to class and I see that the teacher is busy with monitoring the breakfast line. Perfect alone time before class starts I sit in my desk at the back of the room and I grab the scissors from my waistband and I put three fresh cuts in my left thigh and then I do the same thing on the other side. I'm just about to finish when I hear a scream from my right. I looked up and I see that it's just another stupid student and I go back to what I was doing and put a large gash on my wrists and I am about to make another when I feel a pair of hands grab my wrist and take away the scissors and I just sighed and grabbed the knife and go to make another cut when the hands grabbed the knife as well I looked up irritated and said just leave me alone and give me back my stuff. I'm afraid I cannot do that sonic I am afraid I have to take you to the principal and get this taken care of. She grabs my arm and starts to pull me toward the teacher. I dig in my heels and fight but she just pulls me harder. I'm not going anywhere I'm just fine. No you're obviously not fine I'm taking you to the principal one way or another. She then picks me up bridal style and heads to the teacher. I just caught mr hedgehog cutting himself in the back of the room. I'm taking him to principal brown to get him treatment for this. Fine miss just don't let him go. I won't. She then heads out of the class room and I am still struggling to get away when she sees another student and asks that they take me to the principal to get treatment. I looked and I see that she is talking to the one student I have always wanted to be with but never had the courage to ask. I know that he's gay and would probably understand but I just can't get up the courage to say anything to him. He takes me in his arms and he heads up to the office. I finally relented and let him carry me to the office. Why the hell would you cut yourself sonic? I'm actually taken aback by how caring he is being and I just looked at him and said I don't want to talk about it here come to my house after school and I can explain. I'm not going to let this go sonic I need an answer now. I get upset at that and just say why the hell do you care I alone in this god forsaken planet. He tightened his grip and said I'm here for you sonicku you just have to let me in. I freeze up at the mention of the nickname that my family had given me but the I relaxed enough to say I'll tell you when we are alone I just can't relate the story in front of so many ears. He sighs and says fine he then ducked into the office for the student body president and says I'm not letting you leave my office until you tell me so I'd get comfortable if I were you. He then goes around behind his desk and push the intercom and say nurse flowers I need you in my office pronto. Right away me president. Five minutes later I hear a soft wrapping on the door. Come in shadow calls. I turned around and see that it's the school nurse followed by the principal. He then has me stand up and he says this student was brought to me after being caught cutting himself in class I have the knife and scissors here I will take care of everything I just need you to treat the wounds. She comes forward and bandages all the cuts then says I am sorry you feel the need to take your life or at least cut yourself self. She then leaves as does the principal. I can't believe I'm in a room alone with the one boy I have ever wanted. I'm sorry I decided to cut but you have to understand that I am not truly trying to kill myself I'm just trying to deal with a lot of emotional issues and I have no one to understand me. Try me I bet I can. I just can't look him in the eyes so I just stare at my feet and I say I doubt anybody could truly understand what I'm going through. He then grabbed my chin and lifts my head to look me in the eyes and then he leans in and kisses me. I am shocked but I just enjoy the kiss. Then he said that has been a dream of mine for so long now but I'm still expecting a honest answer to the issue at hand. I just can't find the words so I pull out my phone and pull up the security footage from the night my family was all gunned down. I play it and hand him my phone and he takes it and watches as my whole family is murdered. Then he puts down the phone and hugs me and says I'm sorry I can't imagine what it must've been like to see your family killed that way. I just returned the hug until I see an opportunity to ask him about being together. I say hey you know there is one thing that could easy my emotional pain but I'm not sure that it would be given if I where to ask for it. He just chuckles and says oh and what pray tell would that be? I get up and back him into the corner and I say I'm kinda in love with a certain student body president and I'm not so sure he feels the same. He goes wide eyed and then says oh I see well um this student body president what is it you like about him specifically. I batt my eyes and say his personality and his rock hard body and the way he just can't see that I'm in love with him. He then says well I don't know if you're aware sonicku but I'm sure as hell available and I think that I can work something out for you to be mine. He then gets up and spanks my butt and says take that pretty boy and then he kisses me full on the mouth. So shall we go back to class hmmm? I guess if you can keep those hands of me long enough. I'm sure I'll manage. He then takes me by the hand and says let's go. I blush then say okay bad boy lets go. He adjusts his grip and leads me back to class but as we get to the class room he says just a minute I have something for you before we go in. I looked at him and he then pulled off his dog tag and puts it on my neck. He just smiles and leads the way into class. I'm not sure if he wants me to sit down with him or in my usual seat but just as I start to head to my desk he grabs my wrist and says where do you think you're going. He sits me down right next to him and says from now on I expect you to sit with me no matter what got it? Got it I lean in and am bout to kiss him when he says not now honey I need to get every one to be aware of the fact that your mine before I let you kiss me in class. I wimpered but sat back in my chair with my arms crossed. He chuckles and says soon love soon you'll have everything you ever dreamed of. I brighten up at that but I'm still kinda disappointed I didn't get to kiss him. He senses my disappointment and says I'm going to be right back I just need to make an announcement. He gets up and goes back to his office and turns on the loudspeaker and says all students who are cought flirting or trying to impress sonic hedgehog will be brought before the student body president for a lecture further more anyone who so much as tries to take him I will be personally escorting them to detention for being inappropriate. He then comes back and says there now you can kiss me if you like. I jump up and I pull him close and planted a huge kiss right on his mouth. He moans A little as I lick his bottom lip for entrance. He gladly give me entrance and we then wrestle tongues for a few minutes til I hear a ahem. I pull away and see it's the girl who took me to shadow. Hey what's up. I'm not sure you're aware but that is my cousin you where just slobbering on. I just looked at her and said oh well and then I kiss him again full on the mouth. She then noticed the dog tags around my neck and says oh my gosh my bad I guess I didn't realize you where a thing. I just waved to tell her don't worry about it. I then pull away and sit down as he sits down as well. He winks at his cousin then says I plan to tonight. I looked over at him and say plan to what tonight hmmmm? Oh nothing honey I'll tell you later. I'm sorry baby but I'm not going to let you off either if you want me then you have to be honest with me. Fine honey but don't get upset about it please. Okay then I'll try. I was plannings to tell you this tonight but I'm actually not technically a male but nor am I technically a female. He then looks into my face trying to see my reaction. I just smile and say is that all you had me worried that you had some other motive for being with me. He looks confused so I say I thought you were just going to do a one night stand situation. No way hon I'll give it a little more time before we jump in bed together. But I'm open to you spending the night with me tonight however but I'm not going to get in your pants so to speak. He blushed and said I accept those conditions provided I get to eat dinner with you before we go to sleep. I have a better idea hon I'm going to take you out to my restaurant for dinner tonight hon. You have your own restaurant baby? I do but not every one gets to eat there with me honey so be sure to be on your best behavior and dress nice cause I'm sure they will be busy tonight because tonight is the one night of the week when I provide live music and entertainment. Okay I'm curious to know what the name of the place. You'll see hon. Quiet down class it's time for history. Today we are going to study the war between the blue blur and robotic I just turned bright red at the mention of the title I had been given for my defeat of the evil robotnics. Shadow notices the blush on my face and says what are you so red for hon. I'm sorry it's just that I'm the blue blur and it's just really embarrassing to hear the teacher mention it knowing that he has no clue who he is talking about and that he's sitting in his classroom. I am going to be dating the one and only blue blur huh. Yep you are. He then says well then may I kiss him and then hug him hmmm? Yes you may but I don't want you asking me that any more. He then kisses me and gives me a big hug. I'm just about to pull away when I here a mr blur I expect you to follow the rules same as every one else. I quickly pull away and say sorry sir it won't happen again. He says forget about it but I don't want to see you being affectionate in this class room. Okay sir by the way I am afraid I can't let you have or use scissors or any other sharp objects until I am confident you won't hurt yourself. I understand but maybe you can allow my love to handle them for me. I think that will be acceptable. Okay then I'm going to say that I just need time to adjust to life again. Okay then I'm here if you need me.