Adhura Alviida 2

guilt

Aadhya sobbed as she used the knife to cut her birthday cake without any frosting because of what happened a few minutes ago. She had managed to sneak downstairs while her dad went to bed and get the remnants of the cake to her room. Her brown eyes were now watery as she used the small knife to cut a tiny portion of the cake. As soon as she was done, she walked over to the small frame of her mother's photo and rested a piece of the cake nearby the frame. Just as she was done doing so, she felt pressure on her legs. She smiled as she saw her little puppy Shadow on his legs trying to reach up to her. She wiped her tears as she bent down and cut another piece of her cake and fed it to him as he gobbled it up in a quick bite before licking her face, making her giggle.

Shadow was her best friend, true to his name, he followed her every day from the day she found him as a stray. When he was with her, it didn't matter how sad she felt, he never failed to improve her mood.

"Shadow, do you think one day I'll get to celebrate my birthday with Papa?" She asked as she lay in her bed, stroking the fur on him. He purred at the feeling of her soft, little hands on his back.

Suddenly, a fit of coughs overcame her and she covered her mouth at the discomfort. Shadow immediately noticed this and stood up on his fours, barking at her out of concern as she began coughing uncontrollably. Her breathing became labored as she felt a bit dizzy and lightheaded. This wasn't uncommon for her and had been happening for as long as she could remember, she thought it was normal. Feeling uncomfortable, she decided it was time to get some rest and sat back on her bed as she closed her eyes.

**

"Ammi! Meri bacchi! Why wouldn't anyone tell me where she is? Abbu, please! I need to see her. I wouldn't be able to live without her—please let me see my daughter." Zoya cried as her parents tried to restrain her to the bed.

Roshanaq held her down gently as her own heart broke seeing her daughter's condition. With what face would they explain to Zoya that they failed to safeguard the little baby she had entrusted into their care.

"Beta—"

Zoya swiped her mom's hand off of her. "I don't want to hear anything, ammi. Just tell me where she is. Seven years have passed and she didn't have her mother's love, now you want me to fail her again?" Her eyes full of anger and rage.

**

Aditya gulped down the glass of scotch in a single shot, allowing the burning liquid to pierce through this throat. Pain had become synonymous with his life. Since the day he realized Zoya was in a comatose state and had delivered a daughter of his, who was four years old, life was quite never the same. He looked around his room, devoid of any colors or pictures as Zoya would have liked. Looking over at their bed, he remembered their moments as if it was yesterday.

Zoya lay unclothed in his chest with the blanket over both of them, keeping them warm in the coldness of the winter. She drew an imaginary circle on his chest with her fingers as her held her close to himself.

"I'm thinking 4 kids!"

He was jolted up as he felt her lightly slap his chest before looking at him.

"4 kids? Aditya, we're dealing with someone on a psycho rampage to disrupt your family's stability and you're worrying about kids?" She chuckled.

"Arre....so what's wrong in that? At the rate we're going, I'm sure we're going to have one by next year." He smiled as he looked at her blushing. "Don't you want a little one, jaan?"

She smiled as she buried herself in his chest once more. "I do."

The memories haunted him like a crime of his past. Who knew his one mistake would cost him so dearly. Looking back, he had no reason to be upset at Zoya. His poor angel was about to put her whole life on the line to save his life and in return what did he give her, accusation after accusation-that too while she was carrying their little one? He didn't even have the privilege of knowing that he was going to be a father or being there throughout her pregnancy. Instead, he shut Zoya off from his life completely, he became so engrossed in work and taking care of his mother after his father's death. When she committed suicide and revealed the truth about being Pooja and Yash's murderer, Aditya sank into a depression that shut himself off from the world. But he still knew that wasn't an excuse. Within those four years, he never made an attempt to find Zoya, to make things right between them. His stupid ego always got in the way of him attempting to do so. Yet after four years, when the police had finally arrested Rajveer and his grandmother, it came to notice that they had been lying about Zoya all along. He felt the earth beneath him shatter about that revelation. He could not look in the mirror and face himself, knowing what he had put the love of his life through. He was supposed to protect her and yet he demeaned her to such an extent that she had to leave him.

However, nothing prepared him for what he saw in Mussorie. He had hired a private investigator to locate Zoya, but upon arriving he came to know of her condition. She was comatose. And not only that, she had slipped into a coma shortly after delivering a baby girl in a high-risk pregnancy. Guilt and pain were the only two emotions he knew. In the four years, he never bothered to check on her, her life remained stagnant. But not only that, he was also a father. A father to a four-year old child he didn't even know. It was then he had the court orders issue him full custody. He wasn't thinking straight. All he knew was the guilt of letting his daughter suffer without him. He didn't think that he was a hot-tempered, angry, depressed person and Aadhya needed a healthier environment to live in. When he found out his own brother along with the Siddiqui family kept her a well-hidden secret his only mission was to get her back and provide for her as a father should. But in doing so, he seemingly forgot to build a bond with her. She hated him for the first months upon moving to Mumbai, wouldn't even eat her food or look at him. She would cry for her ammi all day.This started the rocky road to their relationship. In his heart, even Aditya envied that Zoya could hold such a special place in Aadhya's heart without even being conscious yet he failed to do so. Somewhere in trying to provide for her and give her the life he was unable to give Zoya, he forgot to build a bond with her. It had been three years since they were living under the same roof but she never even called him 'papa' yet. The words he yearned to hear from her. And what made it worse were her eyes. She had Zoya's eyes. Every time he looked at her, he could feel the guilt wash over him as he felt it was Zoya staring at him with questioning eyes. He couldn't face them, he was scared.

Feeling overwhelmed with emotion, Aditya got up from his recliner and headed to Aadhya's room. He quietly opened the door, with the intention of not disrupting her sleep as he saw her asleep on her bed with Shadow laying on the floor next to her bed. He walked over and adjusted the blanket over her as she stirred in her sleep, rubbing her eyes while still asleep. He kneeled down and kissed her forehead before lightly caressing her plump cheeks cascaded by her ebony curls. He tried to hold his sobs in as he whispered... "I'm sorry, baby."

His heart knew he was guilty of so much more.

**

Aditya felt an uneasiness in his chest as he awoke for the morning. Something felt...off. He immediately ran to Aadhya's room and saw her still asleep, it was a Saturday, there was no reason for her to be up but he couldn't control his horrible gut feeling.

Throughout his morning rituals of exercise, showering, getting ready...something felt twisted within him. As if there was an indication something big was going to happen. He brushed off the feeling of his intuition as he headed downstairs for breakfast. Aadhya soon joined him at the table as he remained engrossed in reading the newspaper as she silently ate her cereal.

Nothing exactly prepared him for the level of the shock he would experience when his door opened with a thrust of aggression.

Aadhya dropped the spoon from her hand as she looked at the door and ran from her chair.

"Ammi! You came. You're finally here!"

_______

A/N: I don't know how I feel about this story anymore. Sorry.