Chapter Fifteen
Tenna laughs victoriously as her character smashes Johnny’s character into the ground for the umpteenth time. Johnny’s expression doesn’t reveal it, however, as he stares at his TV completely stoned face.
“I am totally owning you,” Tenna exclaims, “you’re getting your ass kicked, cocksucker. Is that what the ‘C’ stands for in your name? Cocksucker? Johnny Cocksucker? Ha! I crack myself up!”
Her obnoxious laughter is cut short when her character is killed by Johnny’s secret move.
“You oughta work more on your gameplay than on your jeers,” Nny smirks, “because I just whupped your ass!”
“No way. How did you do that?” Tenna asks, “you were like a ninja.”
“It’s an obvious rule of fighting,” he shrugs, “you lull your opponent into a false sense of security, then hit ‘em hard. It’s effective and satisfying.”
“I never fought like that. I always get right up in my opponent’s face,” Tenna states.
“You’ve fought a lot, have you?” Johnny asks.
“I used to. Not as much now,” she replies and looks around, “where’s Devi and Squee?”
Johnny turns to the couch and notices the two people that were sitting there a few minutes ago are no longer there.
“They left? I didn’t even notice,” Johnny grunts.
“I wonder why,” Tenna muses.
“They probably got sick of all your swearing and jeers,” he comments.
“Jeers are a part of ‘Lethal Combat’,” Tenna scolds.
“Fine, fine,” Johnny groans as he stands up. He stretches his stiff legs and picks up Reverend Meat. “But they still didn’t help you win.”
“How about a rematch?” she suggests.
“No, thank you. I need something to drink,” he says as he strides over to the kitchen. He opens his fridge and moans disapprovingly. “My fridge is depressingly empty.”
“Why don’t you go shopping?” Tenna asks.
“Because I hate it,” he grunts in reply and slams the refrigerator door closed.
“Why do you hate so many things?”
“Why do you ask so many questions?”
“Sorry,” she winces, “I guess I was getting a little out of control.”
“It’s fine,” he sighs and flops onto the couch.
“Coming in!” Devi announces as she flings the door open and marches in, Squee right behind her. Both of them are carrying grocery bags.
“Where did you guys go?” Tenna asks.
“To the store,” Devi replies, “there’s no food in this house so we bought some.”
“Why?” Johnny snorts.
“How can you take care of a kid with no food?” Devi snaps.
That shuts Johnny up for multiple reasons.
“Well, at least let me pay you back,” he sighs.
“Don’t worry about it. I don’t even know how much it all was,” she says as they drop the bags in the kitchen and start unpacking.
“Will two hundred dollars be enough?” he asks as he pulls a bunch of cash out of his jeans pocket.
“Two hundred? Jeezus, where do you get all of your money?” Devi scoffs.
“So what did you buy?” Johnny asks, completely ignoring the question.
“A bunch of random stuff,” Squee replies, “nothing that takes a lot of cooking. I wasn’t sure if you cooked or not.”
“Not really,” Johnny shrugs, “you didn’t happen to buy Fiz-Wiz, did you?”
“Actually, we did,” Squee nods as he takes out a four pack of Fiz-Wiz.
“Oh, awesome. Thank you,” Johnny smiles as he opens a bottle and takes a big swig.
Squee smiles bashfully, feeling really happy and a bit embarrassed that Johnny just thanked him.
“So did anything happen while we were gone?” Devi asks.
“Not really,” Johnny shrugs, “I kicked Tenna’s ass at ‘Lethal Combat’ while she was calling me a cocksucker.”
“He got lucky,” Tenna shouts.
“Please. You think I have luck on my side?” Johnny snorts as he sits on the couch, “I make my own luck.”
“How do you go about that?” Devi asks.
“By living through all the bad luck,” he replies.
Tenna changes the TV channel back to cable and sits on the couch next to Johnny. He grabs the remote and begins flipped through the channels before stopping on a random cartoon.
“Why do you like cartoons?” Tenna asks.
“I like comedies and things that aren’t real,” he replies, “cartoons are often both of those things.”
“I never watched much cartoons,” Squee says, “Father thought they were a waste of his precious money.”
“Jeez, you really did have a deprived childhood,” Tenna comments.
“I’m gonna cook everyone dinner,” Devi declares, “Johnny, mind if I borrow your stove?”
“Knock yourself out,” Johnny grunts.
“What are you making?” Tenna asks.
“I’m just going to boil some noodles,” Devi replies, “everyone cool with that?”
“Yeah. I love noodles,” Nny chimes.
Squee sits on the couch and stares at him, his mouth hanging open. Johnny glances at him and cocks his head. “What?”
“Nothing,” Squee mutters and quickly looks away. He smiles a little bit as he looks at Nny from the corner of his eye.
“What’s with you?” Shmee asks.
“I… kinda like his smile,” he whispers so the others can’t hear him.
Shmee arches a brow but doesn’t say anything.
The group watches cartoons quietly while Devi boils everyone’s dinner. When she’s finished, she loads up four bowls and passes them to everyone. Then they all sit together on the couch and eat in silence.
Johnny can barely contain his excitement as he picks up a fork-full of noodles. He feels something close to elation when he slurps them up and smiles brightly.
“You really like noodles,” Devi comments.
“I really do,” Nny nods, “it’s one of the few things I still like in this world.”
“You should try the noodles at Eat or Die,” Tenna suggests, “they’re really good.”
They spend nearly three hours eating noodles, watching cartoons, and talking about random stuff. Johnny is surprised at how much he enjoys the company. He’s never experience something like this. It’s kind of… nice.
That thought really scares him.
“It’s getting pretty dark outside,” Tenna comments after the sun has long set over the horizon.
“Yeah. We should probably head home,” Devi sighs. They quickly clean up their dishes and get ready to leave.
“We’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Tenna smiles.
“Right,” Johnny grunts.
“I hope you sleep well,” Squee smiles.
The girls wave goodbye and exit the house.
Johnny sighs, caught somewhere between relief and longing. He’s glad that they left because now he’ll stop feeling these stupid, confusing feelings; but at the same time he enjoyed spending time with them. He hates this.
“I’m gonna go shower then probably go to bed,” Squee says.
“Alright,” Johnny mutters.
Squee stands up and walks to the bathroom. Johnny stares after him for a few seconds and sighs.
“You seem to be enjoying yourself.”
Johnny perks up. That was Psycho Doughboy. But the voice was in his head, so he shouldn’t get too excited.
He sits back and watches the TV.
“It’s odd, isn’t it,” D-boy comments, “you’ve never had friends before. I must say I’m kind of happy to see you smiling for once. But you must know it won’t last, right?”
“Don’t be depressing, D-boy,” Mr. Fuck scolds, “it’s nice that even in these times of struggle friendship can still blossom. It makes things more interesting.”
“Shut up, Eff,” D-boy snaps, “friendship will just make things harder when we inevitably win and absorb the imagination of Nny’s so-called friends.”
“The harder the game, the more interesting it is to play,” Eff smirks.
“I don’t get you, Eff. Don’t you want their imagination?” D-boy asks.
“Of course I do,” he replies, “but it’s no fun if they don’t fight back. That’s really what I’m looking for.”
“For fuck sakes, shut up!” Johnny barks.
“Oh, my. Somebody’s awfully grumpy,” Eff laughs.
“Yeah. Well, I’d be grumpy too if I had a pair of voices arguing in my head,” D-boy shrugs.
“That’s another thing. Quit with the ‘in my head’ shit!” Johnny snaps, “come out here and face me head on!”
“Sorry, Nny,” Eff sighs, “we’re not allowed to show ourselves until the rest of the minions are revived.”
“How long will that take?” he asks as he examines Revered Meat.
“It’ll happen soon enough,” D-boy says reassuringly.
“Fine, bring it on,” Johnny growls, “I’ll be ready for you.”
“Whatever you say, Nny,” the Doughboys giggle before slipping out of Johnny’s mind.
Johnny sighs and turns off the TV. The living room is suddenly very dark, the only light streaming in from the streetlamps through the boarded up windows. He lies down on his couch, Reverend Meat clutched to his chest.
He can hear the shower running down the hall. It’s weird since he’s not used to hearing it when he’s not using it.
And yet it somehow makes him feel safe. Like he’s not alone.
“Ridiculous,” he grunts. He closes his eyes and passes out rather uncomfortably on his couch.
