the varchie college chronicles (college au)

chapter 10

veronica's point of view:

i don't know why i'm acting the way i am. i ended my previous relationship, if that's what you could call it, because i had feelings for another guy. and then, when i had been faced with the opportunity to tell him my feelings, i didn't say anything. even after he told me that he still had the same feelings.

i had spent most of my weekend just sitting on my lofted bed, staring up at my ceiling. i didn't want to leave my room because i knew i would see him, and just wasn't ready to speak to him.

"i told him friends only." i groaned, repeating the same thing that i had said to betty probably fifteen times. i rubbed my temples, feeling the headache coming because of the irritation and embarrassment i had with myself.

"you also told him 'who don't avoid each other.'" betty told me from her bed, not even looking up from her laptop. she had been hearing me ranting for several days about this situation. "but you're avoiding him still. you need to just talk to him. either be friends or tell him how you feel. but this is going on for too long." she said, with a sigh.

"i know, i know." i sighed. archie had been confused about why i had been avoiding him, texting me repeatedly over the weekend about making plans, and asking if i was sick because i had been inside for so long. i hadn't answered any of them, just quickly read the text before exiting the message thread. luckily, i didn't have read receipts on.

"i promise you, telling him will be good for both of you." betty said, in a gentler tone. "he already told you the way he feels. the only
thing stopping it is you. not for lack of feelings, even. you're just stopping for whatever reason."

"i think i'm just worried to open up to somebody like that. i haven't opened up to anybody since nick." i replied. once i let the words come out of my mouth, i truly realized the true reason i had been stopping this from happening. not because i was worried that it might ruin a friendship. but because i was scared to open up to somebody, and risk my feelings being thrown away like they are nothing.

"tell him that." betty said, finally looking up from her essay that she had been writing. she looked at me with a sympathetic expression, while i was just confused. "the feelings being thrown away part?" she added, after a few seconds of me apparently looking bewildered.

"i didn't even realize i said that." i answered, practically throwing my body backwards into my mattress.

"just talk to him. he misses you and he'll be happy to give it a chance. he will appreciate the honesty, especially if it gives him the opportunity to have a chance with you." betty shrugged.

-

on that thought, i took a nap. when i fall asleep to avoid my problems, it helps me to come up with solutions for the problems i had been avoiding. a perfect cycle.

i woke up what must have been hours later. it was daylight when i fell asleep, and now it was dark in my room, except for the single street lamp that shone into my window.

betty was gone, i think she had gone home with jughead for the weekend.

after i took a couple of minutes to just lie down and let myself fully wake up from my nap, i reached over and turned on my lamp. i stretched my back, before slowly climbing out of my bed.

i figured that if i was going to tell archie how i feel, i was going to take as long as possible to get it done. i was scared of rejection, and didn't even know why, because he liked me back.

-

i got dressed in a different pair of clothes (a skirt and a tank top) before putting my glasses on. i was going to go for it and just tell archie how i feel.

i stood by the door, taking an inhale before pushing my door open, with my eyes shut. i strode forward to archie's room across the hall, but before i could make it the few feet to his door, i felt my face collide with somebody's chest.

"ronnie?" i opened my eyes and saw a concerned looking archie, of all people

"hey archiekins!" i flashed him a smile, pretending nothing was going on. as if i hadn't been avoiding him for almost five days.

"what's up?" he said, still looking confused.

"oh i was actually looking for you." i said, my voice increasing in pitch.

"yeah? with your eyes closed?" he said, snickering, "what were you looking for me for?" he asked.

"i had something i wanted to talk to you about, actually." i sighed.

a flash of understanding seemed to cross over his face. "pop's?" he offered.

"as tempting as that is, this is a conversation that just needs to be gotten over with quickly." i said, regretfully. maybe we can go later, i thought to myself.

-

we ended up in his car, because that was really the only place that we could go where cheryl wouldn't be able to put a cup against the wall to listen to our conversation, or where reggie can snicker and make jokes.

"you mentioned that you still have feelings for me." i said softly, staring out the window instead of at him.

"yeah, i did. i'm sorry that it made things weird. i should've kept it to myself." he replied, in a subdued tone.

"listen to me." i cut him off. "i do too."

"what?" he sounded surprised.

"i've had feelings for you for a while now. me and chuck actually broke up over it." i repeated myself.

"why didn't you say anything?" he asked, confused. "i told you my feelings and that we should stay friends. that would've been a good opportunity to tell me."

"i don't know." i sighed, feeling like some of the heavy amount of weight has come off my shoulders. "i'm just not one hundred percent ready to open up again. i mean, i told you what happened with nick."

"yeah." he acknowledged. "where do you want to go from here?" he asked me.

"pop's." i said, to give myself time to think of what i truly wanted to do.

archie chuckled. "as much as i'd love to go there right now," he started, copying what i had said earlier, "i mean like where do we want to go relationship wise?" he answered.

"i'm not sure, honestly. let's just play it by ear and see where things go." i responded.

and that marked the start of our relationship, which would probably be full of up and downs. but for now, we weren't having any plans. we would just see where our relationship takes us.

a/n: so this has been a very long awaited chapter! i didn't think it would take this long, but writers block had hit me so badly and i couldn't write. i'm also struggling to balance stuff in my personal life and still write, but i'm trying. this was a shorter chapter than intended just because i felt like i should post this and hopefully it will shut down my writers block.