Just Wanna Disappear

Chapter 1

I remember cowering behind the bookshelf about 9 years ago, wondering what mom could have done so wrong to deserve this. Each time his hand would swing down on her I would cringe. He would look at me and snarl, almost a smile. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. He would sneak into my room after he had beaten mom to the point she couldn't move, carrying her and sitting her in the chair, encouraging her to watch what was about to take place.
It started happening when I was six. He would sneak in my room, once or twice a week, keeping it a secret from mom. Then it became more frequent happening almost every day. He had control over the both of us.
I remember this day like it was yesterday. June 16, 2010. Mom had been cleaning the house all day to avoid being beaten. She just finished cleaning and was starting a roast for Gary, my stepdad. He walked through the door already pissed off. He started screaming that he was hungry and she should have had dinner done already. He started pushing her around and slapped her in the face with so much force that it knocked her to the ground. He was yelling about doing a white glove test on the entire house. That's when I knew it wasn't going to end well. The one day mom doesn't dust he decides to do this. He put his glove on and began running is finger over every surface in the house. Not one was clean. That's when he blew up. He starting hitting her so hard and I couldn't stop it. He beat her until she laid lifeless on the floor of our living room. That image will never leave. Ever.