Half a man

7- Home

She slapped him! Lizzie slapped him!

She was the last to greet him. His Mum was still sobbing in his Dad's arms after she hugged Tom for 5 minutes. He almost cried when she whispered "my boy" in his ear. He missed her voice. He missed her and all of them. His grandparents and his three brothers were there too, along with Haz, Tuwain and Paul. It had been a nice and emotional reunion so far, even for Tom's standards. But then Lizzie slapped him?!

-- You ghosted me, she growled. For 6 months!

He saw tears filling her eyes.

-- I had to ask Nikki if you were still alive! And now-

She choked on that last word and the tears started spilling down her face. Tom glanced at the audience of that unexpected scene, hoping to find help.

-- And now look at you, Lizzie said with a sob.

Tom wasn't sure what to say or what she meant. She started giggling as she wiped her cheeks, which only made him more confused.

-- What have you been up to back there, she said. You look good.

She laughed louder before adding:

-- And you're wearing jeans!

When everyone calmed down and gathered around Nikki's teapot, Tom talked about LA and the rehabilitation centre. As he heard himself, he thought it sounded way easier than what really he experienced. But he figured they didn't need to know.

-- So basically, said Tuwain, you went to the gym every day.

Tom pouted and tilted his head.

-- Basically.

-- Damn, it looks like it worked really well, said Harry.

-- To be honest, chuckled Tom, I'm probably still a bit high on meds right now. I didn't wanted to have a breakdown in the plane so...yeah. But I'm good, you don't have to worry about me anymore.

They all smiled at him- all men in fact, and his grandma. His Mum and Lizzie were staring at him suspiciously. He flashed a smile to both of them but never crossed their eyes. He knew they wouldn't be fooled. Not that he was lying about being okay. It was just...a little more complicated than that and they knew it.

Tom fell asleep on his parent's couch that evening, with his dog Tessa curled up on his legs. He woke up in the middle of the night because of the pain in his arm. The house was silent and the only source of light was the Christmas tree.

He sat up with a wince and squeezed his stump against him. It was a little early to take his meds already. Tessa sat next to him, nudging him with her muzzle. He patted her and stared at the blinking lights. It felt like home, and it was a nice feeling.

Tom focused on that and found the strength to get up. He changed into some old sportswear his Mum kept in the guest room. The fact that they fitted him again made him even more dedicated and he went out for a 2 hours run. The cold morning air numbed his pain a little.

On his way back, he passed by Lizzie's old house. He was almost certain her parents were still living here. He slowed down his pace and let the flow of memories warm him up.

How many snowman did they build in that garden before jumping on it and smashing it down? How many late night call when she would sneak out from the window to meet him? Or that time he almost kissed her while they were dancing in the backyard for her sister's wedding?

Tom contemplated what his life could have been if he had take his chances that day. They were 16 or 17? What if it had worked? She would have been his first time, and that sounded nice. What if they were meant to be? Maybe they would still be together and getting married. Maybe he would have take her with him on his shootings and got her a job in the makeup team. Maybe he wouldn't have been so reckless because she was there and he didn't wanted her to worry. So maybe this wouldn't have happened...