When Billie Met Moody

Billie

The things I see in her, she doesn't see in herself. I see a strong woman who's using the cards life dealt her to the best of her ability, she sees struggling, I see Beauty a body that is draped in caramel skin glowing in the dark night, she sees imperfections and scars of her past when she didn't know how to cope without cutting, and I see a curious mind wondering how the world works and how does she fit in it, but she sees anxiety and overwhelming thoughts that clouds her judgment often times making her uncomfortable.

So when she taps at my window and falls into my chest with eyes filled with tears I hold her without questions or judgment, because of the love and attachment my heart has for her.

I don't remember what I said that gained access to her innermost thoughts her museum of pain and curiosity, but I found out sooner than later that it was a big responsibility, one that I wasn't sure I was ready for just yet.

We met in a weird way,She invited herself to sit under the big tree shading the majority of the courtyard at Gregory Robinson High I was writing poetry,while listening music through my headphones. Zoned out, I didn't notice her at first until I realized she was blocking the sun preventing me from finishing my stanza,

She was beautiful in a way that bothered me like why is she over here? Is she lost? What does she want? I took a headphone out to ask but she interrupted by introducing herself. "Hi my name's Moses but everyone calls me moody. " what's yours? I stared in confusion thinking, Who would name their daughter Moses?" "My name's Bianca but I go by Billie nice to meet you but um is there something I can help you with?" closing my notebook "Nope she replied, I just wanted to sit here everywhere else is too noisy."This chick is weird, is she flirting?" I thought,  yeah "I guess you can sit here but I'm writing so don't bother me" "I won't" she promised.

20 minutes of silence passed me writing and her reading, I was so distracted by her presence that I couldn't focus so I asked "so who are you,? I've never seen you before."
"I just moved here last week I live down the street from you" she answered. My eyes widened " yeah this hoe crazy how did she know that?  " I thought,"

"you wanna know how I know that right?" well I run in the park and one morning I saw you, you caught my attention but I was sweaty so I just went home hoping for another opportunity to see you, and now here we are " she said smiling. She got up and left after that, leaving me curious and in anticipation of our next encounter if there was gonna be another one.

Days past, I was left confused as to why I hadn't seen her I went to the park, walked around the neighborhood and even went back to the tree I wrote under in the hope to see her but nothing. I just stopped looking, then one night I heard knocking at my window

I didn't think much of it thought maybe it was the branches hitting against it so I ignored it, but it continued so I got up to check it out I pulling back the curtain their looking back at me was her, moody.

She looked upset like she'd been crying all night she had an oversized jacket over a torn shirt and sweats, I opened the window to let her in and before I could help her she jumped into my chest at started crying. "what's wrong? where have you been? I was worried " I said as I held her face in my hands I was so pissed at her but mostly at myself for caring about a total stranger but her eyes begged me not to fuss, that all my questions will be answered just be patient, so I didn't. I offered her something to eat but she wasn't hungry I offered her something to drink, but she wasn't thirsty so I just sat next to her on my bed and lit a blunt and passed it. " So tell me what's going on, you had me looking everywhere for you where were you and why are you crying? "I spoke carefully, in the hope I wouldn't upset her. 

Emotions poured out, and all I could do was sit back and absorb all of it she made herself comfortable and laid on me  my arm wrapped around her thinking, "how could someone like her go through pain this deep?"

Abandoned at 13, Abusive foster homes, cutting herself to cope with the pain and addiction to pills. My heart broke more and more until I couldn't bear to hear another word. "Damn mood, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that at such a young age your so strong to be here and I'm so proud  that you pushed past that, "but why were you crying tonight ?" I asked, "I got in a fight with my mom, she's a drunk and drug attic I caught her in my room stealing anything of value to score more drugs," "I yelled at her and told her she's a poor excuse for a mom and that she's an embarrassment she smacked me and we just were fighting really bad." she whispered through sniffing and wiping tears before they'd drop.

"I left hoping you'd be home cause I needed to explain my absence, I've been working my ass off to replace the money that she's been using to feed her addiction my dad said he's admitting her into rehab. " He's still holding onto the chance that he'll get back the wife he married " she said  with grief lingering in her voice , I don't know what made her do what happened next, but I knew nothing about us would be the same the next day.