Awkward Gospel

Cat Calls

Chapter Two

Aziraphale was in love. There were no ways about it. He could sense love and it was pouring out of him in waves. His love had been planted millennia ago and had grown into a beautiful, wondrous garden that felt on par with Eden itself.

He was in love with Crowley. It was a thought that would have terrified him even a year ago. Indeed, it had left him in flat, frightened denial for centuries. Despite his demonic ways Crowley was kind, interesting, entertaining, and....and just grand. He was Aziraphale's dearest friend and to Aziraphale he was also so much more. In the past year they had grown closer than ever before, being able to revel in truly being on their own side.

Then at one point, over an otherwise uneventful dinner, Aziraphale had simply felt something click into place. Yes, he thought. This is what I want forever. I want to be by his side, enjoying meals, going on little adventures, and discovering some new wonder about him everyday.

The trouble was, angels and demons had a number of little defense mechanisms against each other. Aziraphale couldn't just sense if Crowley returned his feelings. Instead he had had to do things the human way and try to divine the truth through observation. This had managed, like it did for many humans, to drive Aziraphale a bit mad.

Clearly Crowley liked him. By his own admission they had been friends for 6,000 years. And now they spent nearly everyday together, simply enjoying each other's company. Really when one got right down to it, the only change Aziraphale was looking for was a few kisses.

Well, maybe more than a few. Maybe quite a bit more than that actually.

That was when he came up with his Plan. It wasn't an Ineffable Plan or even a Great Plan, but Aziraphale was proud of it none-the-less. After an extensive amount of research and reading he'd decided that the best way to test the waters of Crowley's affections was to offer him a bit of an opportunity. A sleep-over was exactly the ticket!

He'd planned it very carefully. The trick was to act as though he merely had an interest in sleeping, but leave things ambiguous enough that there was room for more to happen. They might move closer and closer in the night, until they were cuddled up to each other and Aziraphale could plant the lightest of kisses on Crowley's forehead. Crowley would wonder if it had been a dream or just some unconscious action on Aziraphale's part, but that would be enough. He would start thinking of the romantic possibilities between them if he hadn't already.

Aziraphale grinned and scrunched up his face in glee at the thought. A squeal may have been uttered. Although it was still early he went to the bookshop and prepared for the evening. He packed his finest, freshly-acquired silk pajamas and wondered how disheveled they might be in the morning from a night of aggressive cuddles and kisses. He brushed his teeth for approximately ten minutes. Finally, as an afterthought, he put a dab of cologne behind each ear, just where Crowley might find it if he nuzzled into Aziraphale's neck.

He tried not to get too excited. After all, he hardly expected to make any romantic confessions tonight. It was an evening for first steps. But still, Aziraphale couldn't stop the voice in his head that kept murmuring, what if....

That was why he approached Crowley's flat with a giddy skip in his step a whole half hour before their scheduled meeting time. He even bought a potted plant on the way to celebrate the occasion. He wasn't naive. He knew there was a chance that Crowley wouldn't return his feelings. But that almost seemed besides the point. The point was that Crowley was wonderful and Aziraphale was going to have the chance to express that. No matter what happened tonight, he was sure it would be delightful.

Basically, he was in the perfect position for the universe to punch him in the gut.

Aziraphale knocked when he got to Crowley's door, or at least he raised his fist to do so. The door opened before his hand actually made contact. Aziraphale froze in confusion. Standing in the doorway was a very beautiful woman with long curly hair, tight pants, and a top that revealed quite a bit of cleavage. Her teeth looked sharp and her eyes were not quite human.