Mafia Lies

~4 forgetting~

-forgetting




Francesco

I walked away from her full of regret, well at least that was what I was supposed to feel. She... she just looks so much like...her. From the way they walk to the way she smiles and scrunches her little noise when they are concentrating. They were mirrors of eachother.

I let out a laugh, who am I kidding? Who am I to even deserve someone so pure as Ri? I was a liar. and traitor. I left her there. I left when she asked me not to. I ignored her and now she's gone. There is no one but me to blame.

I can't believe I nearly thought I had a chance with Ri, her tears are more precious than mountains of gold and her smile shines brighter than the clearest diamonds. I let the emptiness take over my body because in a psychopathic way it brought me the relief I needed or I would end up turning back around and do something we'll both regret. 

I woke up to quiet sobs across the hall. The rain was hammering on the window like it was asking me to open up, the wind screaming as thunder erupted across the sky. Damit. 

I pull myself out of bed and quietly make my way towards Rita's. I see her little figure curled up in a small ball in the middle of my bed hiding under her blanket. her small whimpers move my feet automatically toward her bed. I pick her up and bring her wrapped-up body close to my chest comforting her as I've had in the past patting her deep rich brown hair and she buries her face into my chest.

'I'm here. It's ok. I'm here", I rub her back in a circular motion while whispering sweet words to calm her down. Her cries eventually died down as her breaths became heavy and her eyes struggle to stay open. She snuggled closer to my chest and I lay her back down. 

"Don't leave me", she grabs my hand. Her eyes were puffy from crying and her cheeks had a slight blush. I watch her peaceful face as she fell into a deep sleep. 

I watched her. Like he's always done. My fist tightens. I will not lose this war to him.  Making sure she was sound asleep I then make my way back to my own room.

Rita

I woke up to the sound of nothingness. The memory of the heavy rain stamping the window and then Francesco coming in flashed through my mind. I didn't remember what happened after that... everything went dark. Just like it always did.

I like to say I moved on. Say that I moved on from her. From him. From that event. From that day. But I guess sometimes as human beings we simply can't. It just doesn't work that way. Time doesn't heal trauma, it just allows for more time for more trauma until the one you once felt doesn't seem as bad anymore. But it never really goes away. 

That night there was rain... heavy rain and I refuse to accept it but maybe... maybe I didn't want to move on. If I had accepted it, it meant I would have accepted him leaving me. I would have accepted him never returning. I would have accepted her gone... forever.

I kick myself out of my depressing thoughts which clouded my mind with 'what ifs'. They were all just useless lies anyways. Useless lies which she would say to hide away her broken self. She would hide under a fake smile, shiny jewellery and red lipstick. Red was her colour. And it then became the colour as drowned in. Even her favourite colour came to betray her. 

Maybe I don't miss her. I definitely don't miss hearing her painful cries at 2 am in the morning. Or when she would drink herself away. Maybe I simply missed the thought of who she was. The loving, empowering, and selfless of my imagination. The person whose whole existence revolved around a lie.

My feet hit the cold hard floor. Every morning was the same. Same thoughts. Same lies. Same broken heart. I don't really know but maybe she took part of it when she left. A part I could never really get back. I rub my chest like it would ease the pain and mend my heart.

I go over to my earthy-looking bathroom and stare at myself for a brief moment before deciding to freshen up. Everything was so empty here. I mean yes this spacious house was filled with exquisite pieces of furniture but it was empty. Just like my body. Just like my heart. 

This household holds no memory. All will be forgotten and left without a trace. A trance of a once small 13-year-old girl who had everything but nothing. Freedom they tell me.

Well that was deep madam Author.