The Resistance

Chapter 8

To: Ara
It's been exactly a year since you left. And I still feel the same longing for you. You told me we'd eat at your dorm and I'm still waiting on you.

One year has passed and I still feel the same. The only that changed is how much I've grown to appreciate the little things, the memories, just merely everything. I love her, I still do, and is it even possible to love someone more even when they're no longer around?

I decided to roam around Razon. I could imagine her, training running around acting as if she was just a kid playing and not an athlete training. And when I shut my eyes I could really feel as if she was here. "Thomas" I heard her call my name. She grabbed my hand, leading me to the basketball ring as always. She handed me a ball, like she always does, but this time, it was different, she would usually steal the ball away from me but now she ran away. I opened my eyes. I cried again. Even in my imagination you're leaving me. Was she telling me to stop fighting? To finally let her go?

When I stood up, I saw something that shocked me. I saw a basketball placed where Ara would always place it whenever we were done playing around. Sa may drinking fountain. She always told me na dun niya lagi nilalagay yung bola para pag kukunin ni Manong yung bola, maaalala ni Manong na uninom ng tubig para hindi mapabayaan yung sarili niya. I couldn't help but smile. Are you really here?

And after all those months of trying to stay away from where she was killed. I finally decided to go back there. It was so weird because I could hear her scream for help but I couldn't do anything. I've been so afraid to come here for so many reasons. One, this is the place where she was murdered, two I was afraid to face reality. I was afraid to actually admit she was gone because for so long I still believe that she can still be alive. I am so naive. But now, now that I've decided to come here. I get it, she's gone, she's really gone. But I have to live with it. And I'm grateful to have had her in my life. Even though she's gone, I still love her, and she means so much to me. I love you Ara, I always will.