Fix You

Learning to Walk Again

Jennie stays silent as she played with her fries. It's been a long time since she had something this fun happen in her life and it was like learning how to walk all over again. It was a feeling so new and foreign, she was having a hard time knowing how to react. Should she talk? Should she smile? What? What was she supposed to do?

"Hey... do you not like the food here?"

Jennie doesn't look up, not wanting to see her doe-like eyes and be too tongue-tied so she shakes her head instead and takes a huge bite off of the cheeseburger. If she wasn't so confused and embarrassed and awkward, she'd be honest and thank Lisa for introducing her to this place; the food was great!

So is she, right?

"We could always find another one to eat at you know, if you don't like it here or.."

"It's great ... really." Jennie takes a fry and dunks it in her milkshake, swirling it in the ice cream infused drink before taking a bite.

Lisa doesn't answer for a while, which made her peek. Just a brief glance from her red straw to the taller girl opposite her and back to her drink. She feels herself blushing when she saw Lisa was eyeing her curiously.

"Can I try that?"

"Try what?"

"What you did with the french fry"

She could hear humor in her voice.

"Sure, I mean... no one's stopping you from trying."

"Maybe fear."

"What?"

"Maybe fear and ..." Lisa takes a long french fry from her side of the table, surprising her when she dunks it in her own strawberry drink and swirls it around slowly. Stopping for a second and swirled it around in the opposite direction. Jennie tries her best to keep her gaze on the straw, as Lisa takes her time to tap it against the brim of the cup, flicking away anything in excess to prevent the french fry from sogging up. "Not wanting to leave that comfort zone... If I think about it, trust also plays a big factor... and maybe... control too..."

Jennie looks up at Lisa who was munching on the french fry, a huge grin on her face.

She was always grinning, what's new?

"What does that have to do with eating french fries and dipping it in milkshakes?" She furrows her brow in annoyance and confusion. Sometimes Lisa speaks in a way that was too confusing for her to follow.

"It doesn't have anything to do with both..."

"Then why are you --"

"It's more about you trying out new things Jen... "

The way her voice lowered to a whisper and the implications of what she said made Jennie squirm.

"Trying out new things could be fun, don't you think? Whatever it is that's holding you ba--"

"Do you always stick your nose into other peoples' shit?" Jennie winced at the venom in her voice. She doesn't mean to, it was like reflex to her. Her own shitty defense mechanism when people start peeking into the little cracks in her walls.