The House-Whisperer

Waifs and Strays, pt. 1

'You know, I always found it odd how this place had never felt like home. Privet Drive had felt more like home than here, even after all the months that I had lived here. Then something happened, it was just a small moment, but enough to have a massive impact and to change things.

'And it was as if the house knew.

'The day it happened, I'd been feeling particularly low, unable to motivate myself to even shower and dress. I was a mess. And Grimmauld Place reflected that. It was awful, as if the house were as depressed as I were: the doxies were back in the sitting room, infesting the curtains, I'm pretty sure that the spiders in the attic were related to Aragog and all the bathrooms needed ripping out. I'd just about persuaded Kreacher that clean sheets were actually a thing.'

'Who's Kreacher?'

'I'll come to that. Anyway, I was sitting in Sirius's old room debating what I was going to do, if I should even stay, or whether I should move out, move onwards. Of course, there was always something to stop me. The excuse at that time was I was about to start my Auror training and, really, the house was convenient and I couldn't afford London prices if I wanted to move. Not quite true. I just wasn't motivated. I had no purpose.

'So, I was sitting in Sirius's old room, fixated on a bit of wallpaper. It was damaged where a chair had been pushed up against it, not badly, but the paper had torn and wrinkled a bit and it was discoloured around where the furniture had scuffed it. I stared at it for ages and then, well I wasn't really thinking about it, but I picked up my wand. I always carried my wand everywhere in those days, it was like a security blanket. I even slept with it under my pillow. I guess it was ever since I'd repaired it with the Elder wand, it was the most precious, cared for item I possessed.'

'Wait a moment! You repaired it with the Elder Wand? As in...'

'Yes, it's a lo...'

'I know, a long story. It always is with you. Okay, another time. Carry on.'

'So, I carefully touched the paper and muttered 'Reparo' while visualising the pattern whole and clean and I watched the paper unfurl and straighten itself, the mark slowly lifting until it looked as good as new.

'It was as if the house sighed. I felt it but didn't understand it at the time.

'So then, a couple of days later another incident happened. I'd been in the sitting room, trying to ignore the doxies, I think I was looking for a book I'd lost. That's right! I'd left it on the mantlepiece when I took a Floo call in there from Hermione. Anyway, I just stood there, looking at that fire surround. It struck me that it was actually a quite nice creamy stone affair once you got past the thick layer of dust, the yellowing, and the soot which was blackening patches of it. I remember I stood looking at it for ages with my head on one side as I contemplated it. Then, I don't know, I guess it was something to do, but it was more than that: I wanted to do it. I remember running upstairs to throw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie, I still had my pyjama top on under the jumper, and I literally ran out of the house to the nearest supermarket. I came back laden with every cleaning product and type of cloths, dusters, and scourers I could find. And...'

He laughed.

'...I bought a house magazine and these cushions too! Merlin, even then I remember thinking that if stereotypes are anything to go by, I'm definitely gay. I guess you don't know that bit of my story either so I'll slot it in here. So, I never thought my sexuality at school, I was going along with the whole heterosexual thing because, well, just because... There had been moments but they never came to anything and I never dwelt on them. My enlightenment occurred during that last attempt to get back together with Ginny just after the war. I guess the issue lay in it always feeling wrong. I loved her as a friend, I admired her, she is fearsome, but I wasn't particularly comfortable kissing her, let alone the idea of touching her in a sexual way. Merlin, it used to make me shudder. That's not right, is it? Alarm bells really should have been ringing earlier.