CEO | JAEYONG

7

TAEYONG had never felt so drained as he sat in his bedroom, holding a bottle filled with toxic liquid in his right hand. He was staring into nothing, his swollen face and puffy eyes making him heavy. He never felt so exhausted, he's never had such an overwhelming realization come to him like it did last night. It seemed everyone who fell in love with him was fooled by the seems or just simply wasn't in love. Taeyong didn't blame them, none of them, as he was messed up and he knew it. He was scared and they didn't want that, they hardly ever knew.

Taeyong cried all night, his face was tear stained and he was dizzy. His vision was fuzzy from the alcohol as he stared into nothing, letting slow music play from a record player in the corner of the room. The walls seemed to move almost, and he just watched them as his body was restless from sitting there for so long. He just sat there, thinking mindlessly about love. How it wasn't worth it, how it made him feel like trash and left him like a bag in the wind. It hurt, more than anything.

He tried to drink his worries away once, he could do it again, and maybe this time he would finish the job. He gave a painful smile to himself for the foolish thought. He had a life to finish, and a son to take care of. How could he be stupid and throw it all away just like that?

He's been thinking for a long time, about Jisung, about his ex lover, about Jaehyun. It just seemed like deja vu and he couldn't get two faces out of his head. He was frustrated, and he expressed it through drinking.

Taking another sip of the flavored wine, he winced as he felt the spiky liquid ride down his sensitive throat. Taking it away from his lips, he only had a little left. He stared at it for awhile, watching how the liquid swirled at the end of the bottle. It felt like nothing to him, nothing new, if he was being honest, it was actually nostalgic. It was comforting almost, but simply uneasy on the end.

He didn't know what to do, he just didn't know anymore. He felt the world weigh on his shoulders, and he didn't look up because he knew deep down there was no one to look up too. It was worthless, everything was worthless. He knew he would get fired from his job again if he stayed like this, but he didn't care, he was simply tipsy and tired. All he wanted to do was sleep, and yet his body kept him awake because it wasn't ready to give way. It was tense 24/7 as he closed his eyes.

The drink in his hand slowly slipped from his grasp, and fell loosely from his hand as it hit the floor. The liquid inside didn't gush out, as there was barely any left. It simply swayed back and forth in the 'bowl' of the wine bottle. Taeyong let his head rest back onto his bed, and his body slowly slumped as he let himself fall into dizziness.

He slowly drifted off, seeing fuzzy dreams enter his mind stream. It was simply tipsy and worthless dreams, as he knew there was nothing to look on the bright side too. His life was simply a book writing backwards.

Jaehyun was miserable, and he couldn't pin point why. He knew deep down why, and knew it was Taeyong, yet he couldn't understand why. Why did Taeyong have such a impact on him that left him hanging for more? He didn't understand it. He couldn't, and he wanted to find out why.

Jaehyun was in his office, sitting in the dark, he has been since the last day he's seen Taeyong. He locked himself up, canceling and ignoring all phone calls, people, interviews, and society. He didn't care though, about what others thought, he simply needed to get his mind clear. It was difficult, and he couldn't understand why Taeyong had left such a deep imprint on his untouched skin. It was as if their was connection, a bond, and the strings won't let go as they were stuck in their own skin.

It was eating at him, gnawing at him alive as he kept thinking deeper and deeper.

He's only known Taeyong for a few weeks, maybe even months, and yet the male was imprinted in his memories. It was killing him, and he could feel it every time he thought about the other. He wanted, no, needed to know more about the other, and yet all he did was break him. It was haunting him, and he couldn't sleep or barely eat because of it.

He wanted to go out there, apologize, and then show the world he didn't care about his image or money. He simply didn't care, and yet he knew that he had too. With such a name, it would be dangerous for everyone around him to just walk away from his responsibilities. He needed to do something, and quickly, before his mind and himself lose its mentality.

"Jaehyun." A female voice calls from behind the door, and he ignores it like he's been doing for the past days.

"Jaehyun I know your in there! I'm coming in!" The door opens not a second later, and Jaehyun doesn't pay attention as he stares out the window at the city below.

"What the hell is wrong with you! It's been 2 full days since you came out of here, and you've missed 5 interviews, almost 21 calls, and—"

"I don't care." Jaehyun interrupts carelessly.

"What?" The woman asks in disbelief, staring at the back of the others head.

"I said, I don't care." Jaehyun says slowly, not minding the holes she's burning to the back of his head.

"Well you need to! Your a CEO Jaehyun not a slob!" The woman yells, and gives a frustrated sigh. "I know it's hard to leave someone you enjoy being with, but your a business man, and you can't just let life pass by you! You have co workers to pay, to occupy, and people to talk too who care about you!" The woman lets out a breath as she furrows her eyebrows.

Jaehyun stays silent, taking in every single one of her words. She was right, he admits it internally, yet he doesn't bring himself to say anything.

"Your a coward Jung Jaehyun, a coward, and if you don't get out do this office, everyone else will know." The woman says, and with that she walks out and slams his door shut.

Jaehyun sits still, completely still for a moment. He then lets a small, almost stupid smile grow on his face.

"Your right. I am a coward." Jaehyun whispers. "And maybe it is time that everyone knows that."