A Gift to Remember

My name is Lilly. I'm twelve years old, but unlike most 12 year olds, I don't have emotions. I have a disease called Alexithymia, which causes me literally not to have emotions. My solution was to set up on a street corner in the afternoons and ask people to donate their emotions. I've lived a life full of Fear, Regret, Anxiety, Depression, Jealousy, and Disgust until an old man donated... happiness.

It was a regular day for me, it started out with me getting up to my screeching alarm clock and then slapping the snooze button so I could sleep for 10 more minutes. The early orange- pink rays of dawn shone through my window, waking me without my consent. The old wooden bed I slept in creaked as I got out of it and stretched my arms out.

"Lilly! Time for breakfast!" I heard my mom call. Slipping on some of my only slippers- the unicorn slippers from when I was 5- I shuffled out of my bedroom and down the long hall to the kitchen. " I made french toast! Your favorite!" the french toast was burnt, and the disgust emotion flared up inside me. Nevertheless, I smiled and pretended it was good.

My life wasn't ideal. We were a poverty-stricken family, and my dad's job at the papermill required him to work 24/7, so I never really got to see him. My parents also had to pay for my medication that I was supposed to take for my Alexithymia, but even though I took it, it never worked. We had enough trouble trying to keep the lights on, let alone pay our monthly fee for my medicine.

After finishing my toast, I said "Thank you..." very quietly, washed my plate, and went to get dressed.

When I got to my room, I opened my closet. To my disappointment, the only pair of pants I had were torn and dirty, and the only shirt I had was one that said 'Unicorns Rock!' in big, sparkly pink letters. ' What would my friends think of a 12 year old who was wearing this?' I asked myself as I put it on. Even the mirror looked disgusted by my choice of outfit. Depression tugged at my heartstrings, my eyes burning as I tried so hard not to cry.

Finally, I broke. "It isn't fair!" I screamed. My mom came rushing to my room, cradling me in her arms. "I know, I know..." she cooed. "What if you wore one of my shirts?" she asked. My crying stopped abruptly and I followed her to her room.

I ended up with a purple shirt that was way too big for me but it was better than the unicorn one. After hugging my mom, the daily walk to school started. To me, the skies were grey and dull, light was painful. Then, I saw kids playing in their yard, and jealousy roared up inside me. I walked faster and eventually got to the courtyard of my school just in time for the bell to ring.

The chalk board at the front read 'BW: How was your summer?' The extra notebooks were at the back of the room, so I quietly went and picked one up. A boy snickered and people pointed at me as I sat down again.

"I hear she has Alexymitosis or something like that." A girl whispered loudly. My best friend, Anastasia- Anna for short- came running through the door as the tardy bell rang.

Anna has always been that friend you could count on, even if you were a depressed, angry, jealous person with the ability to not have emotions. She pulled out enough notebooks for all of my classes and set them on my desk. "Happy Birthday!!" She whispered. "I hugged her, but didn't smile in the slightest, because I couldn't. I didn't know what happiness felt like.

The notebooks were beautiful and sadness welled up inside me because I couldn't afford these things. Today we learned about integers and went over multiplying fractions in math, which I didn't understand. The bell rang, a shrill sound that rang in my ears minutes after it ended. I got up and ran to the street corner that I set up on.

Everyday, I'd spend two hours begging for emotions. I had this little bell an old woman gave me, said it'd give me good luck.

Today was the first day I used it. The piece of cardboard I held read 'Donate your emotions here'. I have a couple of regular customers, like Ms. Schwatz, who always donated a little of her sadness emotion every day. "I want to donate anger." a little girl walked up to me and said. I grabbed a bottle that said 'anger' beside me and handed it to her. She put 3 fingers on her head, and then drew them back. A wispy red mist followed her fingers into the bottle, and then she was on her way. Several more people came, including Mrs. Schwatz, and they all donated either sadness, anger, or jealousy.

Then, the old man came. From the looks of it, he was blind, but somehow he still saw me and sat down. " What are you doing, sweet child?" his voice was gentle and kind. "I'm asking for emotions. I have this disease where I can't have emotions." I answered quietly. " Have you gotten happiness yet? Kindness?" he asked. " No..." I responded. "Well, I would like to donate happiness." My eyes widened in astonishment. My hands fumbled with a bottle and the man drew a bright, yellow light from his forehead, putting it in the bottle.

" Won't you be sad now?" I was concerned. The man smiled, and actually laughed as he got up. " No, sweet child. I will not allow myself to be sad. It is in times like this, in times like Christmas, when it is impossible not to be happy." He smiled and walked off, leaving me with a feeling of happiness in my heart.