the ups and downs of micahs

6

▷ sidney reid ◁

creak. creak. creak.

That's what I hear. The fast-paced, whiny creak of the bed. I get lost in it.

creak. creak. creak.

Aside from the creak, there's a feeling I get. My entire body feels the most intense rush. It's what you feel after downing ten shots or snorting an entire line of coke. Both of which I've done, but that's, like, besides the point entirely. We're just talking about the feeling.

I feel like air. Air with white hot electricity crackling through it, mingling all the elements together.

creak. creak. creak.

I feel on top of the world. This is the feeling I'm meant to have. Where I'm meant to be. I'm Sidney fucking Reid, of course I'm on top of the world.

I soak in this feeling for a little while longer, until I feel something come up to my neck and squeeze. Oh fuck yes.

I snap back into my body and when I open my eyes, there it is. The reason I feel so high.

Micah Barrett.

Micah Barrett, fucking me into oblivion.

Micah Barrett, fucking me into oblivion with his hand latched onto my neck.

creak. creak. creak.

Red hot skin, sweaty hair, soft groans.

His eyes are unfocused. I reach my hands up to grab his face, but he moves and puts his head down next to me before I can. He won't look at me.

His movements get harder and more forceful, and every thrust he makes takes my breath away. He's mad.

I chant his name over and over and over again until the ecstatic feeling comes to a head and I'm digging my nails into his back, and he's moving sloppily and choking the shit out of me and I can't breathe but I don't care, because my eyes roll into the back of my head and I feel dizzy and I feel...

"Fuck." Micah's voice startles me out of my trance. He flips over beside me and stares up at the ceiling, chest rising and falling heavily. I turn on my side and reach over to push his hair off of his forehead before saying, "Are you sure you were a virgin two weeks ago?"

Micah scoffs and rolls off of his bed, grabbing his boxers from the floor and pulling them up his legs. He then crosses his bedroom to his dresser and grabs a cigarette from an old metal container.

I wrap his comforter around my body and sit up straight, stuck in this position of observer. All I can do is watch him.

"I thought we established that you speak after sex," I prod, but he walks over to his window and slides it up, cigarette dangling from his mouth and lighter in his hand. He takes a seat and lights up, blowing a plume of smoke to the outdoors. His demeanor is so distant and it pisses me off.

"Okay," I announce loudly, which makes him look at me. "What is up with you?"

"Nothing."

"You're a horrible liar," I whisper, tucking some hair behind my ear. His whole face goes hard; eyebrows furrowed, jaw clenched.

"I don't think we should solve problems with sex, you know." This is why he's upset?

"Are you still upset about that? It was a joke."

"You hit her with dodgeballs three times, Sidney. That hardly seems like a joke." I snuggle further into his bed, mood depleted.

"You really want to talk about her after you had sex with me?" He opens his mouth to speak, but I raise an eyebrow at him, reminding him to watch himself. I throw his comforter off of my body and saunter over to him, still completely naked. His eyes widen as I stand right in front of him, basically flashing his neighbors.

"Sidney, the window is wide open."

"I don't care," I pout, as he grabs me and sits me on his lap, covering my body from the public. We look each other in the eyes and it feels like a cheesy, teen romance movie gesture but I can't help but enjoy it. I bring my hands up to the side of his face and graze my fingers through his hair, watching his eyes flutter shut. He takes a drag from his cigarette and lets the smoke slowly exit his nose.

"Listen. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to talk about Micah Blue anymore. I don't want to talk about Micah Blue ever, okay?" His face gives off the impression that he wants to argue, but I'm not going to let that happen. I refuse to argue with my boyfriend about a girl, especially not this specific girl that decided to come into my space and place herself in like she had been there for years. That's not how it works.

I lean down to his ear and whisper, "You don't think Micah Blue is better than me, do you?" I grab his hand and drag it to a place we both can't see and feel his entire body go rigid. "You don't think Micah Blue would feel better than me, do you?" My tone gets more and more assertive and I moan into Micah's ear as we get into our groove again.

"Fuck, Sidney, no." He tosses his cigarette out of the window and pushes me off of him, settling me into his former position as he stands up. He grabs one of his shirts from off the floor and chucks it at me, aggressively wiping at his face.

"Stop. Please stop. That isn't what any of this is about. It's about you being mean to this girl that has done nothing to you, and the fact that when I want to talk about it, you want to distract me with sex."

After I pull the shirt over my head, I say, "Let's fucking talk about it then."

"Well, one--"

"Oh, look at that, you pissed me off and I'm going to shut down on you now." Micah balls his hands up into fists and stalks away from me.

"You're fucking impossible," he murmurs, hastily throwing on jeans and a hoodie and collecting all of the things he carries with him.

"Where the hell are you going?" I screech, speed-walking over to him and grabbing him by his arm.

"I'm going to take a walk," Micah removes his arm from my grip, snatching it away forcefully. I'm shocked by the action and back away from him as he finalizes his statement with the word, "alone."

With an uncharacteristic slam of the door, he's gone. My eyes start to water and I drop down onto his bed as a single tear falls down my cheek.

It's not fair. None of it is fair. I won't let this girl slither her way into my life, or any of my friends' lives. I won't let that happen. Not when I've had to work this fucking hard to get where I am. Not when I'm Sidney Reid and I have this much power.

I grab my phone with shaky hands and text Watson, "your friend is an asshole", and he swiftly replies, "what's up baby" and suddenly the tears fall double time. It's all Micah ever says, it's all they ever say. All that people whisper when they're not praising me to my face. All the harsh words and treatment I've had to deal with my entire life.

Yeah, I'm Sidney fucking Reid and I'm on top of the world.

Until I'm not.