Moving On

What Are Best Friends For?

I woke up the next morning already knowing that Sam was awake and making breakfast. Usually after I had a nightmare, he tried to make me feel better the next morning by making my favorite breakfast: waffles with whipped cream and caramel sauce. I told him he didn't need to do that, but he never listened. Just the fact that he was there for me after my nightmares, was way more than enough. I got out of bed and started walking out of my room into the kitchen.

The kitchen was one of my favorite parts of this house we rent together. A couple years ago we both wanted to move out of our parents houses so we looked at a bunch before we finally found this one. My room was big, with a big walk in closet and personal bathroom. Sam's was the same layout as mine, just not as cute. The kitchen was spacious and neatly organized, all by me of course since Sam doesn't really care abut organization. The living room was big and really cozy, I always love to walk in the house and see the living room first, its so inviting. We also have a recording studio in the basement for our work. I write a lot of music, some for some really big artists and get a check every month. While Sam is a record producer and works with the artists on the beat and what they are looking for in their album.

Its amazing how we can live together and work together and not get sick of each other. But that's the amazing part about being friends with someone for 10 years, ever since I moved to London, you just don't get sick of each other. He's my best friend in the entire world and we love each other like crazy.

I walked into the kitchen to see Sam already plating my waffles and putting all my toppings on them, just how I like them. I flashed him a grateful smile and said a quick "thanks" and starting to dig into my amazing breakfast, thinking about how to bring up last night.

"So, um about last night... I just wanted to say thank you for-"

"Addie, I don't want you to thank me or say anything about it. You're my best friend and I love you, of course I'm going to be there for you. I'm always going to be there for you, no matter what."

"I love you more than you will ever know Samuel James King." I joked because I know that he hates when I use his full name.

He playfully rolled his eyes at me before taking a sip of his tea. "Yeah, yeah. Don't mention it. But have you thought about going to therapy like I've been telling you to for the past couple months?"

He always has to bring up therapy. Even when I repeatedly tell him I don't want to go. Everyone will know what happened and judge me, or pity me and honestly, I don't know which one is worse.

"Sammy, I don't feel comfortable going just yet. I just don't want to talk about it. Maybe in a few months I'll be ready to face what actually happened and be able to talk about it, but right now its not happening. Can we please stop talking about it?"

He sighed, knowing he wasn't going to get his way. This is how this conversation always goes, so I don't know why he's so surprised it is happening like this again.

"I just worry about you Addison. You're like family to me and you have no idea how seeing you like that made me feel. It broke my heart knowing that I couldn't do anything about it. When I came to get you that night..." he trailed off not wanting to finish that thought. I know he didn't want me to worry about what he saw that night.

*Flashback*

*Sammy please come get me 911* I texted him and sent him my location. I hope he would get here soon. I can barely breathe. The room is spinning around me. I feel slight pain throughout my back and face. It all happened so fast. I couldn't even cry out because my throat was so raw from screaming. Please hurry Sammy. Get to me.

I must have dozed off because I woke up to Sammy shaking me and crying. He was talking but I couldn't hear what he was saying. Everything was in slow motion. I was suddenly so aware of a ringing in my ears. I watched his mouth, hoping that I could tell what he was saying by reading his lips. Ambulance. Hospital. Cops. Got away.

It suddenly felt way too hot in this room. I tried so hard to get air to my lungs but every time I did, I felt a sharp pain on my sides. He had to take me home. I couldn't stay here. I couldn't. I tried to talk but nothing came out. I needed to let him know I was sorry. All of the sudden it was like a switch flipped and I could hear him again.

"I'm so sorry Addie, I'm so sorry."

Why was he sorry? I'm the one who should be sorry.

"Sir, you need to step back so my team can help her. You can ride along in the ambulance, but we need to give her help immediately to stop the bleeding."

No, Sammy don't go. I wouldn't let go of his hand.

"Addie, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to go with you in the ambulance okay, just let them help you."

I was put in the ambulance and they immediately started to put a bunch of needles in my arms and an oxygen mask over my face. If I had any strength, I would push them away. I wanted to scream. I needed to scream.

I kept my eyes on Sammy. He never stopped crying. He looked so scared.

He got close to my face, held my cheeks and slowly said, "When I find him, I'm going to kill him Addie. Don't worry. You're fine now"

Everything felt like too much. I was so tired. I couldn't stay awake anymore. I closed my eyes just wanting peace for a few seconds.

"ADDIE!" I heard Sammy scream, before I passed out.

*Present day*

"Sammy, you don't have to worry about anything like that ever happening again. When I'm ready, I'll get help and when I do, you'll be the first to know." I promised him.

I stood up and went around the kitchen island where he was standing. When I held my arms out to give him a hug, he pulled me to his chest and hugged me tight. He squeezed me so hard, but I knew it was just because he was so scared that night and he was just thinking about.

"I won't push you about it anymore love, I just worry about you. You know I just want you to be happy, right?" He asked me.

I did know that, he told me every day. "Of course, and I appreciate it even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes. Thank you for caring about me so much."

It seemed impossible, but he hugged me tighter and sad, "what else best friends for?