BELOVED 2 [h.s.]

Chapter 43.

Author's note: thanks for the 16.7K of reads guys!!! I'm really sorry for the delay but i've been so busy... I love you all and please don't forget to vote and remember i'll be starting a new fanfic soon and is Harry's...

Song of the chapter: Ride, SoMo.

"Linda... I started talking with Paige three months ago again. You know that she cheated on me but I really liked her so much... when we started talking I had those feelings about her again and I started getting confused between you and her, we used to talk every day and she was lovely as the first time we met so I started getting more confused. I helped her buying that flat, I paid half of it... I bought her a car and helped her getting in Fabulous, I took your phone and saved Jolene's number to call her and she accepted thinking you and Paige are friends so that's why she puts you together in everything,"
"Then I thought about you. You're such a special girl and the less I want to do is hurt you so somehow our relationship started going better and better and I decided to forget about Paige because I realised I was already happy with you and everything I wanted to have was in you,"
I am crying, not a little but sobbing... I just can't believe what he is saying, "special girl" is something I can't believe my boyfriend used to describe me. Maybe I wasn't the one that wasn't feeling love for him but he was the one who wasn't feeling love from me and with the less attention we were paying to each other I thought I was the one tearing us apart.
"Then when I saw Paige again and the quantity of guys that she was seeing I started feeling somehow jealous and started confusing even more. I loved you so much but I felt a connection between us and I started going insane... I set up our vacations so we could be together and alone but then the incident happened and I was so worried Paige would say something to the press,
"I really wanted time just for us but I was so scared to tell you this at the same time so I decided to call Pablo to rent a cabin along with us but he decided to lie that way and which pissed me off so much that it ruined my vacations because I really wanted Paige out of our lives for that time. Then she hit you, you told me you had to work with her and I am feeling guilty about your sadness because is everything thanks to me,"
He starts crying, grabs my hand and strokes it while he breaths to continue talking.
"I am so sorry about everything. I made you so unhappy thanks to this, baby. If you want to leave me I will understand you because this is not what a man should do to a woman and it isn't fair for you,"
"Do you want me to leave you so you can run to Paige?" I ask heartlessly.
"She's a bitch, of course not." Harry shakes his head in such a serious way that I believe him.
"My decision was taken. You are my decision, my confusion is over because I want you and anyone else... what I said about wanting my entire life beside you is completely true but I can't make you love me after what I did," he sighs still crying, "it's the second time I mess it up with you."
"You know I can't stop loving you," I wipe my tears, "I already knew something was going on because I even dreamed this a couple of times... it's okay to be confused, you know? I don't really know what would be of me without you... you're the only one I have in London, in my own reality and if I have a good life there is everything thanks to you.
"I really owe you a lot Harry, the less I can do is forgive you for having a confusion because everyone can have it..." I smile remembering just when we met.
He hugs me tight, kisses my head and hugs me tighter again.

Harry's POV.

This girl in front of me is just perfect, I can't even believe I got confused between her and Paige when I know she is everything I really need to live. His heart is so big, she is so humble and forgives a lot of people for doing shit to her and it really isn't fair but I swear we will be happy again even though we will be away for two months and a half.
I really swear to myself I won't hurt her never again, I am going to do everything possible to make her so happy. I can't really think about a time she's made me so unhappy that I want to get away from her forever. I had a cruel period and when I met her everything changed, I am a better Harry Styles version thanks to her and not just as a person but as an artist too. Yes, she owes me a lot as she says but I owe her even more for everything she's done for me, for all the happiness she's brought to my life and for helping me to believe love does really exist and is not something begotten by material society in our minds.
"Harry," she pushes me away, not happy but sad.
Tears are streaming down her cheeks harder than the Niagara Falls and I realise she just forgot me but never said she was going to be mine forever, that she was going to stick by my side after I made her suffer and thinking out loud is so unfair with her all of this.
"Maybe we can give each other space - maybe you need time and maybe I need time to think about everything... I'm not saying we need to stop being friends but..." She wipes her tears.
"You know I can't do that, we tried once to be friends and it didn't work and now I love you more than then and you just can't ask me this," I shake my head side to side, "I really need you so much you don't even understand how much... even if we are not in the same place I know you are somewhere being just mine,"
I stand up from the bed and throw pillows to the floor, I cry harder and hit the wall with my hand trying to cease the pain, "I know this isn't fair for you but please don't leave me," I beg.
She walks beside me, takes my hand and kisses my fingertips. "You know I won't leave you, ever."
"I don't need a friend I need a girlfriend and it's you and no one else... Linda please," I plead.
"Stop making this hard for me," she closes her eyes and sobs, "we can give each other these two months to process everything and when your tour is over we can meet again and decide what to do about us,"
"I already took my decision, I want to be with you forever."
She shakes her head and walks to the other side of the room, she hides her face in her hand and sighs so hard that I almost think she is drowning.
"What do I have to do for you to stay with me forever... should we engage?" I kneel in front of her.
"This isn't easy for me Harry,"
"Then we can have sex without protection so you get pregnant," I continue, maybe I'm a little high and I'm not saying such smart things but I will do whatever for her to stay.
"Stop saying crap," she frowns and shakes her head, "even married couples need time for themselves Harry."
"What if I wait you for two months and Carter seduces you and I lose you?" I spat with my biggest fear since I met her.
"It won't happen, Fabulous will have now a company here and I'll ask a transfer to be here now. I will continue studying here with the link LSOJ has with UC Berkeley here in LA,"
"What about your flat, and family, are leaving everything you've done there," I ask frowning; she is taking quickly decisions after my fault and this just not right at all, I'm feeling guiltier because thanks to what I tried to do she is changing her life plan so she can forget about everything easily.