“You lot seriously need to calm down with this whole PDA revolution that’s happening at the moment.”
Alfie had decided to speak to form K during tutor time that day. It wasn’t so much that he disapproved but it didn’t half make him feel lonely watching every member of his form loved up. Even Joe! Joe his young mini me! Joe was awkward, uncomfortable in social situations and let’s face it not much of a looker. He reminded Alfie so much of himself at school that if he was really pushed to an answer he would have to say Joe was his favourite.
“What’s up with you faggot?!” Shouted Mitchell from his desk throwing a scrunched up piece of paper at Alfie.
“You lot are pretty much at it all over the school! The supply cupboard in B corridor has essentially turned into a brothel!”
Mitchell and Remmie looked at each other guiltily, then catching the eye of Stephen and Frank tried to conceal their laughter.
“Guys seriously” Whined Alfie. He turned to Chantelle “I saw you sneaking out of the changing rooms with Anthony Carey AND Simon Douglass the other day young lady so don’t you smirk at the boys.” Tutted Alfie in his best ‘grown up parent’ voice.
“I didn’t have them both Sir! What kinda girl do you think I am?” Chantelle looked affronted “Jing was in there with us too you know?!”
“Chantelle!!!!!!” Hissed Jing growing a rather un-fetching shade of magenta.
“OI OI foursome nice!” leered Mitchell before getting a smack in the gut from Remmie. “What? You can’t tell me that’s not a bit fucking hot” he continued.
“Babes if you ever want Rem to take you in that supply closet ever again I’d advise you to stop talking right now” Stephen interrupted with eyebrows raised and a ‘shut up’ look on his face.
“What? What I say?” Mitchell looked around him confused. Realisation finally dawned “Shit Rem soz, I’m a fucking spanner.” He looked pleadingly at his boyfriend.
Remmie smiled at him, “Well you’re my spanner!” Remmie grabbed Mitchell’s tie and pulled him over the desk so he could kiss him. “Girl on girl is a bit hot yeh.” He laughed.
“Best boyfriend ever!” Mitchell announced both arms raised in triumph.
“Careful trailer trash” growled Grayson not even looking at him but staring hungrily at Stephen “You don’t get that title till Wheelz over there can do the splits in a confined space” He winked at Stephen.
“HaHaHa GAY!” Mitchell laughed, then he remembered himself with a confused look on his face. “Sorry mate. It’s a habit” he shrugged.
“S’alright.” Frank nodded at him. “Stephen wakes up at night sometimes and still thinks I’m there to kick the shit outa him.”
Everyone laughed at this, even Frank had a sort of half smile on his face. He still hadn’t taken his eyes off Stephen.
“It’s only for a second” smiled Stephen “I always get the hint when I realise he’s butt naked and horizontal!” Stephen explained in his defence.
Everyone burst out laughing including Frank only Alfie was trying to remain straight faced. He sat low in his desk chair sulking at his own lack of happiness.
“Sometimes when me and Mitch are…you know… just after he comes he does his ‘Gay!’ but he never remembers! I think it’s kinda cute” Laughed Remmie
“I don’t do I?” Mitchell looked disbelieving. He looked round sheepishly, first at Remmie then the others. He could feel himself blushing and didn’t know what to say.
“You do, but I think it’s cute. It’s always just after…you know.” Remmie said gently
“Ha well Fuck Me!” Mitchell exclaimed slapping his hand into his forehead.
“Not right now dear” Remmie laughed “Maybe later if Stephen and Frank aren’t hogging the cupboard.”
Everyone erupted into laughter again. Everyone was smiling and joking with each other. Mitchell didn’t feel half as embarrassed now.
“Guys this is what I’m talking about. You’ve all been taken over by hormones I don’t like it” sulked Alfie.
“Look Dickers just coz you haven’t got round to being a fully grown adult yet don’t mean the rest of us have gotta stay being the virgin fucking Mary all our lives.” Remmie called from the back.
“Very funny Rem Dogg” Alfie sneered. “I just want you lot to calm it down. You know stop swapping saliva at every opportunity and if I have to stand guard over that cupboard myself then by god I will!” Alfie became rather high pitched at this point. “And Rem Dogg if Mitchell the gypsy king is your ultimate life achievement then please god drop out of school now because there’s no hope for you!”
“OI!” Mitchell and Remmie protested in unison then realising they’d done so grinned at each other.
“Seriously you two are going to make me heave.” Alfie groaned sticking 2 fingers down his throat.
“Sir have you ever thought that us lot aren’t your real issue? I’ve always wondered about you and Atticus? Have you ever thought there might be some residual issues there?” Stephen spoke softly.
“Look I know you lot all think it’s very funny to speculate about what happened to me at boarding school but no I do not have feelings for Atticus Hoi.”
The bell rang and the kids began to leave the classroom. Stephen hung back knowing that Frank would wait for him outside the door anyway.
“Alfie? I’m sorry babes I didn’t mean to upset you.” Stephen put a comforting hand on Alfie’s shoulder.
“You haven’t Stephen sorry mate I’m just lonely since Rosie left alright?”
“Just think about what I said Sir, sometimes things suddenly make sense. Look at Frank”
Stephen hooked his bag into the crook of his arm and strutted out of the classroom. Alfie looked after him. He wished he could be as happy as the kids were. Maybe he would give Atticus a call…..just for a chat of course!
